Oversensitive

    Maybe I'm oversensitive, but really, a warm screw you to perfectionist doctors, manipulative family, gossip trees, and the inventors of clozapine. Please go screw yourselves. Then do it again. Then go walk off a cliff.

    Seriously. The NAZIs had better results. Numbing people out and releasing chaos is not the answer. 
You think this is funny? Really? Which part? I'm not seeing funny here. My liver is almost shot. My charts a mile long. Truly. Go screw yourselves. I'm not going to rest until that shit is permanently banned. This isn't funny. 

    I'm so relieved MIP doesn't like me anymore. Place is messed up. They started this. The bullshit with the DX's and the pills. It's your mess guys. Great job. Go back to medical school now. Try that Hippocratic oath again. Remember it? No? Funny the things you forget. Go screw yourselves. Truly. It needs to be done. To-do list it. You're a freaking disaster. You numbed me out and destroyed my body with pills.

    Congratulations. Go screw yourselves again. You and your little friends. There's no hiding this GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF. TAKE YOUR CLOZARIL WITH YOU. every day until you remember that oath. Everyday. I'm reserving rooms at McClean now.

    Oh, but they're still planning the next forced medicationing. See when this started, I thought... I'll make a website, I'll make a few metaphors, maybe people will learn, we'll all move on. Then I noticed how nervous people were. Oh crude, he's waking up. Oh freak. He sees the truth. Oh freak, he's talking. Dammit. Where's the nearest pharmacy? darn metaphors, some people never learn.

Sense

I just don't get it. I'm the disabled guy with the degrees and the pills and the hospital system on one side, various doctors offices on different sides, a family on another side, and so many other people who think I have something to give or do for them. I don't actually have to go out there to know that these people are all out there just waiting for a report or some help or to drug me up or come up with a new dx and it makes no sense. Who has the energy for this? Do I have all the answers here? Does any office have all the answers. I need to retire from a half dozen more things before someone sees me and decides either they or I need something. It makes no sense.

I get tired of caring. Because problems and solutions vary depending on who you ask. Caring was more fun when I was more numb.

Medical system

I just don't get it. I may not be attracting the right kind of attention, but what the heck do you people want? Have I not been drugged enough? Have I not said enough? Am I that damned interesting? If half a dozen shrinks can't get it right, who's up next? 

Find someone else to drug, to fill out your surveys. Leave me alone. Go away. Stay gone. I'm a little tired. This is not impressing anyone. I doubt there is a soul anywhere on this earth that is impressed with this medical system. I certainly am not. Just leave it alone. Find someone else to fix. This person is closed for business. Maybe it was interesting. Maybe I thought it was helping. I don't know. But my body can only take so much. You're wasting your time. You're wasting your paper work. Give it a rest. Do you really think that running the nursing staff or the techs or anyone at all running people around to drug me this way and that way, bring me to this and that group or center? Where the hell is this going? It makes no sense. None at all. Just leave me be. If I have physical symptoms, please treat those then step off. You're not helping anyone. Not really. If I'm psychociating, just filter me out. I'm a figment of your imagination. I'm not actually real. I'm a name. Some diplomas. And some pills. That's me. 

PriSMO R US

Well, isn't this just so intelligent. My life makes no sense. None at all. I've got a damn name. It's on that damn building. You know the one. You all know the one. And that name sells with those drugs. And anyone with that name who jams up that program of medicalized perfection will be hunted down and drugged into silence. Yes, MIP I got your call. Go screw yourselves. You're not helping here. I'm tired. You guys have worn me down. I'm so sick of these damn names. PriSMO. My last name. It's such a freaking joke. How many drugs do you need to sell? How much medicalized perfection do you need in this community? WHERE DOES IT END? IT'S A DAMN NAME. Don't you people have actual lives to save? Does it really matter what I say on a damn website that can be filtered? Go drug someone else. I've had my pharmacy. Literally. I'm tired. It isn't funny. Go drug someone else. You're not helping. Leave it alone. ARE WE REALLY IMPRESSING ANYONE HERE? DOES THIS IMPRESS ANYONE? DOES IT MAKE ANY SENSE THAT MY LIFE REVOLVES AROUND PILLS FROM THIS HOSPITAL AND THAT HOSPITAL? Oh but it's such a nice name. Maybe I'll change my name to Depakote Lithium Clozapino. After the two drugs I've OD'd on and the third that failed to prevent yet a third OD and second coma. ARE WE MAKING ANY SENSE HERE? ARE YOUR DRUGS HELPING ME? Yeah, I'm a little angry. Especially when people don't learn from their mistakes. THE DAMN DRUGS DON'T FREAKING WORK. USE COMMON SENSE. 

Common sense, take three in the morning, don't call back. This is South Carolina. Not the state of Denial. Walk away while your legs still work.

Polls

OK, so I'd like to see higher numbers, but so long as someone in this world understands the problems in South Carolina, I'll be happy enough. In the past month, 2,180 Americans have learned about some of the problems of South Carolina as experienced by yours truly. 378 Netherlands. Perhaps my Chinese readers can relate to Western medicine running amuck. I'm rather certain there is someone, somewhere, who would like to see fewer pills on these streets before we run off starting a war with somebody. The Ukrianians are keeping a few people busy right now. Personally, I like peace. Maybe I'm a coward, but if I'm gonna strike someone I don't plan to do so unless they need to be dead. I'm a little angry right now, but I think that maybe it'd be better not to screw around with our allies and worry about our own problems, while helping them deal with theirs. Just to be clear, between the EU and Russia/China/N.Korea... I'm with Europe 100% of the time. Common values. I guess people will always want our country and everyone in it to be a certain way. But maybe if we can be ok with a middle ground, then we won't have World War III or Nazi like experimentation on our own citizens... here's looking at you, Clozaril. 

I think people should be alarmed at drugged zombies on American streets. I think they should be alarmed at cult like groups of people running around causing chaos. I think they should be alarmed at warmongering and tariffs that no one can understand. I think there is reason to be concerned. 

Busybody Personality Disorder

    I've been seeing a psychiatric emergency of sorts. From the county library, which I have come to hate with a passion, to the gossip circles to the doctors' offices to the schools. Too many people far too involved in other people's business. I cannot understand this perversion. Why people have to obsess and control other people so very much. If it's not a physical defect, it's personality, or education... there's always something. 

    Why is everyone in everyone else's business? Never mind good enough, let's just keep fixing everything till it's been fixed 3 dozen times and then let's bulldoze and build something new. Instead of allowing diversity, let's medicate and have corrective surgery and re-indoctrinate at every last opportunity. Let's fix everything and then fix it again. Nope, everyone has gotta look just like us, think just like us, do just like us. Because we're so perfect. 

    There is so much overcorrection, no wonder people have to leave. Then we got all these new people coming in. Now we get to complain about them. How they are changing our dysfunction, and we like our dysfunction just fine, thank you kindly. But no taxes for the roads, because then we can't about the potholes that actually do cause problems.

    Let's spend on the money on drugs and indoctrination. Not on the roads. Let's waste money that could be spent on schools and roads on making sure everyone looks and thinks just like us. Because schools aren't meant for indoctrination. They are meant to create useful skills. Roads are meant for getting places. Enforcing gender roles, medicalized perfection, locking up the largest population IN THE WORLD is really gonna fix things? 

    Or maybe we start a war, go off and have all the people we don't like go fight it? I just don't see the sense. I do not understand this military budget or the tariffs. It makes no sense. I felt like I liked the people. I don't see these policies helping. I am appalled by what is happening at the federal level. Truly disgusted. What the hell is going on in this country? These are the patriots? really? I don't get it. Y'all are so busy destroying each other you didn't stop to think if it made sense to do so. So much base hatred and suppression. You call this Freedom? Why can't people just mind their own business. 

Supermedicated

    It's very alarming to me to wake up from a supermedicated, highly controlled state of existence and see what I see. I trusted some of the wrong people too much. These drugs are dangerous. Very dangerous. There are people that won't let me break. I have to respect that. I have to respect it by warning others of what this stuff does to your mind and body. Very dangerous. 

    These ideas they've been teaching about perfection, medication, gender roles, its not helpful. It will destroy people. It will end them in ERs. Like it did to me. It will put them in comas. Pushing too hard. Medicating too much. Forcing ideology. It destroys people. It lands them on permanent disability. It keeps them in bad situations. Clinging to the past. Do not do this to this country. Do not destroy these people. You can't lock up or ship out enough so long as you just create more monsters with hatred and broken ideology.

Community

    I really am hoping to turn my attention to doing something more positive for this community then watch a hospital system and my family fight over what I need and who is to blame. I just don't think this conflict is helpful. I don't think we need super medicated citizens permanently disabled just so they can look perfect and talk fancy. I really don't think it helps to learn 3 careers worth of information and burn yourself out trying to be everything to everyone. I don't think we need ODs in our ERs or people threatening each other. 

    I don't think this is helpful. That's why, again, I'd like to thank the governor, the medical board, the cdc, scdhec, and DSS for stepping in. For putting the brakes. And mindfulupstate and city center for recognizing valid problems in this community. South Carolina has real problems. So, maybe, just maybe i should figure out what I need to do. And maybe accountability keeps people safe. The house was full of pills. Everywhere. So many different types. You have no idea how many pills. Far too many. 

    Perfection isn't a virtue. It isn't safe. Can't be teaching people to drug it away. You end up with word salad, dx extravaganza, pills everywhere, dead tired, haunted, miserable, looking ok but not feeling anything like that, and then the physical issues... GI wrecked. Metabolism crazy. It's not worth it. It's so not worth it. Just leave people be. Let them be human but without controlling others or medicating them to death. 

    We have the largest prison population in the world by far already. How many more will we lock up? If ok can be ok, and money is not the end all and be all, then maybe it's ok to let people be imperfect. And free. Maybe I like this place too much. But it'd be nice to see people treating others a little better. Not so focused on perfection and ideology. Religious or otherwise. Because I feel like I have a very hard core, brutal liberalism on one side and a hard-core conservatism on the other that can be brutal too.