Combinations

Some people are bad in combination. Some people should stay the fuck away from me. The drugs don't fix this nor shut me up. I'm not your perfect son. I tried. It didn't work. Give it up. Stop the insanity. I'm not him. He doesnt exist. Stop looking. There's a half dozen governmental agencies already watching. Jump ship. Get out. Stay out. It's not looking pretty. I'm medically complex. The ship has sailed. Please go away. Thank you.

Oversensitive

Maybe I'm oversensitive, but really, a warm fuck you to perfectionist doctors, manipulative family, gossiptrees, and the inventors of clozaril. Please go fuck yourselves. Then do it again. Then go walk off a cliff. 

Seriously. The NAZIs had better results. Numbing people out and releasing chaos is not the answer. 

You think this is funny? Really? Which part? Im not seeing funny here. My liver is almost shot. My charts a mile long. Truly. Go fuck yourselves. I'm not going to rest until that shit is permanently banned. This isn't funny. 

I'm so relieved MIP doesnt like me anymore. Place is fucked. They started this. The bullshit with the dx's and the pills. It's your mess guys. Great job. Go back to medical school now. Try that hippocratic oath again. Remember it? No? Funny the things you forget. Go fuck yourselves. Truly. It needs to be done. To-do list it. You're a fucking disaster. You numbed me out and destroyed my body with pills. Congratulations. Go fuck yourselves again. You and your little friends. There's no hiding this GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF. TAKE YOUR CLOZARIL WITH YOU. every day until you remember that oath. Everyday. I'm reserving rooms at McClean now.

Oh but they're still planning the next forced medicationing. See when this started, I thought... I'll make a website, I'll make a few metaphors, maybe people will learn, we'll all move on. Then I noticed how nervous people were. Oh fuck, he's waking up. Oh fuck. He sees the truth. Oh fuck, he's talking. Dammit. Where's the nearest pharmacy? Fuck metaphors, some people never learn.

Cumbersome

 [Verse 1]

She calls me Goliath and I wear the David mask

I guess the stones are comin' too fast for her now

You know I'd like to believe this nervousness will pass

All the stones that are thrown are building up a wall

[Pre-Chorus]

I have become cumbersome

To this world

I have become cumbersome

To my girl

[Verse 2]

I'd like to believe we could reconcile the past

Resurrect those bridges with an ancient glance

But my old stone face can't seem to break her down

She remembers bridges, burns 'em to the ground

[Pre-Chorus]

I have become cumbersome

To this world

I have become cumbersome

To my girl

[Chorus]

Too heavy, too light, too black or too white, too wrong or too right

Today or tonight, cumbersome

Too rich or too poor, she's wanting me less and I'm wanting her more

The bitter taste is cumbersome

No, yeah, no-no, no

No-no, no, yeah

[Bridge]

There is a balance between two worlds

One with an arrow and a cross

Regardless of the balance life has become

Cumbersome

Sense

I just don't get it. I'm the disabled guy with the degrees and the pills and the hospital system on one side, various doctors offices on different sides, a family on another side, and so many other people who think I have something to give or do for them. I don't actually have to go out there to know that these people are all out there just waiting for a report or some help or to drug me up or come up with a new dx and it makes no sense. Who has the energy for this? Do I have all the answers here? Does any office have all the answers. I need to retire from a half dozen more things before someone sees me and decides either they or I need something. It makes no sense.

I get tired of caring. Because problems and solutions vary depending on who you ask. Caring was more fun when I was more numb.