Almost every time I talk to a non-professional who knew the medicated me I get the distinct impression that people want me to shut the hell up and medicate. Such desires have side effects. Insisting on seeing someone through a lens of medicated perfection is a distortion of reality. I get it. I kinda liked the old me. But that's how I got here. Medically complex, permanently disabled unless I learn to deal with emotions differently (near as an honest professional will tell me), unable to maintain relationships... unable to maintain jobs... a medicated perfectionism. Oh, you'll be damn strong... miserable, and unstable. You have to deal with the emotions and set boundaries, or you'll drown in pills and anger and there will be no help for you on this earth. So I strongly advise anyone who knew the old me to avoid contact unless I contact you. Oh I'm full of ideas, you made me that way... not all of them are good ones... the local hospitals and I are engaged in some learning... leave it be. Or people as far off as Singapore just might understand the dangers of overprescription and poor boundaries. I like this state. I like it quiet, safe, peaceful. I'm planning to keep it that way... but I need to work with these hospitals, improve my health and hopefully keep them from endangering the population. I especially want to discourage medical professionals yet again from contacting me directly, indirectly, or by soothsayer unless they are on a treatment team... that would be extremely poor judgment.
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