God Bless

 I'd like to end today by reminding everyone of the dangers of bad psychiatry and bullshit cbt. I'd like to encourage everyone else who has been affected to seek thier own counseling, and i think at some point someone is going to have to look at mip and Woodruff road for other survivors of bad psychiatry. 

Thank you for Viewing

Anyways, I think that concludes the self discovery portion. I have a history of misinterpretation, overmedication, and I don't actually have bipolar. Thats been a point of contention. I'd like to thank my oldest sister. I'm not actually dangerous but I prefer to not have my healthcare manipulated or to attract too much attention. If I don't say anything, you can assume that I simply have no comment. I have my limits. 2 comas. I need to focus on a quiet life, finding my partner. I'm used to inspiring confidence. Thats not been the case lately.

"Behavioral Health Centers"

    I'm not exactly smart enough to outsmart 3 psychiatric hospitals, so HOPEFULLY, my counselor is right, that I don't actually have to teach my families about everything. I certainly don't want to teach them about everything. The impression that I get is that they are learning. Because I certainly have no interest in anyone running my healthcare or in being a professional patient. I just get tired of getting hit and the uncertainty and bad communication. Not all of it is me. I certainly have no interest in repeating the past.

    I've been a little grouchy. But again, my healthcare has been a little... crazy.  So hopefully, someone other then me is figuring out something about my families that will grease some wheels with some of the people that my rough edges are bumping against. Things such as "Bipolar really is bullshit"... we should be kind AND honest AND not manipulative. Direct. To the point. And not waste my time or give my team extra work. Draw out the process. I'm pretty sure they have the drugs covered. Sleep could be better. But the drug part seems pretty well worked out. With any luck, maybe drop one more. 

ADHD

     ADHD was my first. I have the dreamy subtype, mild. Other people, they have the hyperactive subtype and are much more active than I am. It was originally thought to be almost exclusively male and something that was grown out of. Now we know that those are both false conclusions, though it's more common in males.

    There's plenty of resources on the subject, so I won't go into much detail. One of the lesser understood symptoms (per my experience) is Mult focusing: focusing on multiple tasks at once, such as watching tv while working or listening to the radio while working. Sometimes, having stimulation in the background, particularly if you also have CAPD (central auditory processing disorder, which is highly comorbid), actually helps you to focus better rather than more poorly. 

Mood Stabilizers

    These I saw the least benefit from personally, but they include lamictal, lithium, valproate, Topamax, I think Trileptal and others. I was on almost all of them excluding Topamax.

Amantadine

    This one was kinda loopy. Prescribed for brain trauma or cognitive impairment. Boosts dopamine. Can make you hyperfocus like crazy. Everything becomes interesting. Similar to mirapex. Can affect addictive behavior as well. It's all groovy. 

Rytr

 I found this ai to help me a little with editing. It has generation and summarization, but it's better at tweaking something prewritten. It's called Rytr. 

Stubborn

I think the hospital wants to heal the families, but they don't understand the full problem, so they get frustrated, blame me, blame my counselor, and try to slam shut the whole process. But im stubborn. And I won't let them do that. Damn stubborn. Two comas. Still here. Damn stubborn.

What Spidey tink.

Spidey gonna be doing bedder. Spidey hab new team. Molly in charge. Spidey make it up to de udders layder.

They may not like me very much, but I'm getting what I need. Tired of this. And yes, I care about these people. I do. Otherwise I wouldn't be trying so hard to be nice when I'm obviously not doing well. I'm broke, im alone, a lot of people are pissed. I'm tired of it. I'm in charge of my healthcare now. I'm not having anyone get in my way about getting what I need.