So, if anyone has any questions about how to treat my professionals with respect, I refer you to your ethics requirements from your licensures, South Carolina State Law, Federal Law (including but not limited to HIPPA), SCDHEC, DSS, THE MEDICAL BOARD OF THE STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA, OR IF NECCESSARY TO THE POLICE OR A COURT OF LAW.
You don't want to follow the law? Try me.
ANY QUESTIONS? ANYONE? ANYONE FROM SOUTH CAROLINA, PLEASE?
NO? SHUT YOUR DAMN TRAPS.
Oh, the Internist is gonna be so proud. I love to make my doctors PROUD.
Now it's brain fog. But hey, lost a lot of weight and stopped ADHD medication. Plus flashbacks of hospitals and of multiple near death experiences. My brain is tired.
So it's more of the same. Rest, mild exercise, nutrition, electrolyte water, calm app.
Do I revel in being miserable? Not quite. Seriously, you try stopping Clozaril after 21 years and see what happens. You stop retaining water, you stop wanting to eat, headaches, flashbacks, moodswings, BP changes, heart rate drops, even your body temperature is different. Slightly lower. Fatigue, nausea, tingling, twitches, tinnitus... feeling narcoleptic because you don't sleep deeply.
But seriously, if that stuff was helping, how did I manage to OD on three bottles of scripts while on a therapeutic dose? Anyone? Anyone at all?
It wasn't helping. So now the chemically suppressed memories and emotions come out and the body struggles to keep the mind together. I have to keep the body alive while the mind heals.
Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, its only seed
It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taking
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live
When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose
