I worry about the future. I see hope in this business. It's something REAL, something reliable and simple. Something I can do well. It's not circular conversations or arguments. It gives me some productive potential beyond my writing. I'm not as resilient as I used to be. I need to be very careful. I've made so much progress on my physical health. Trust is a risk. 

    I've scheduled daily delivery shifts to keep me on track. But this anxiety makes me feel trapped sometimes. It's rather urgent that I avoid the unexpected. I need to be like a clock... regular, predictable. I need to be like the planets, with my work as the sun. It is only a rigid and unbending focus that can deter unexpected events. 

    Doing deliveries helps me to become more familiar with the area roads. There's solace in the rhythm of the road. Whatever time I have left, I need to be careful in managing it. There is little to nothing to protect me if trouble finds me. 

    Difficult memories are fading as time passes. I want to be very cautious moving forward. I remind myself everyday to focus on the basics and to be careful how I spend my time and with whom. I'm not as resilient as I used to be. I can't afford to entertain ignorance nor waste time arguing with the deaf. I need the peace of solitude until I find people who are able to see me for who I am and appreciate that person, not attack him nor slander him behind his back. I am putting away my medical misadventures.

Accountec Deliveries

    The Business is starting up well. I'm pleased. I want to focus very closely on the business and continue to avoid distractions. This is my chance to add value. To be productive again. Between the business and my writing, I have a direction and I can worry less.