Fake it till you make it!

    I feel that when I was growing up, fake it till you make it seemed like a winning strategy. It seemed accepted. These days, some of the cracks in that philosophy seem more obvious. I feel like I hear more people talking about the importance of being genuine. 

    Fake it till you make it is most associated with a salesman known as Glenn W. Turner and is different from the psychological concept known as "acting as if" in that acting as if means to emulate qualities that you don't actually have such as confidence, but fake it till you make it is a philosophy that encourages dishonesty in social interactions in order to project a certain lifestyle or talent that isn't actually there. Presenting yourself as a great investor while hiding losses would be an example of fake it until you make it. Presenting yourself as confident while being honest about your performance would be acting as if. 

    Fake it till you make it goes hand in hand with Ableism.  The idea that you can do whatever you want, regardless of your limitations, just by changing what you believe and how you present. Nuerodyvergence isn't actually real, its just a mindset, so the thinking goes. It's a magical idea... but life is not a fairy tale.

Trade-offs and Mental Health

    The question I come to in mental health these days is: what is realistic? Is it realistic to push the doctors and the medications so hard that my doctors quit and the meds cause ER visits? Is that realistic? I said this because I can't be the only frustrated one. I think that I've pushed the limits of psychiatry pretty well, from the feedback I've gotten. 

    So what is realistic? What is realistic with autism-adhd plus whatever you want to call whatever the rest of it might be? I'm trying to find out. Realistically, my job is to do what I am able, no less and no more, just like anyone else I suppose. 

    I feel I've attracted so much controversy that it blows my mind how much controversy there is. I almost want to get retested just so they can verify that yes, facts are facts. Autism is real. ADHD is real. The rest of it is... whatever the rest of it is. I'm not going to argue. 

    I'm just so tired of people being so curious about my life. It's really not that interesting. I think most people would consider me somewhat boring. I have a few personal possessions, but it's really not what people make it to be. It's not a life to be envious of, unless you're starving and homeless. 

    I'd like to be less interesting. I'm really not that important. This is me being humble, being honest. My life is not some mythical thing. It is a person trying to get by. I do not have some secret plan. I don't think the doctors do either. We're just dealing with what we've got. Maybe some unrealistic expectations of what medicine can do. 

    I'd like to reiterate: 1. No, I don't have money, please stop asking. I'm not a bank. 2. Yes, I do have autism, it's a real thing. 3. Refer all other questions to someone else. I have enough of my own. I'm rather certain the doctors are doing everything they can. I think making someone repeat themselves should be categorized as a misdemeanor. I'm trying to focus on being thankful.