I'm continuing to focus as in as laserlike a fashion as possible on what I am good at. If I can avoid any car accidents or other surprises, I should be ok.
I keep looking for chances to increase my efficiency. I've simplified and standardized my days, trying to make everyday as routine and unchanging as possible. This includes not thinking in terms of weekends and weekdays. Everyday is just another day. Same meals, same routes. Same stores. Same food. Same hours.
I find it liberating to eliminate chaos. I complete only my planned tasks. I'm still struggling to find enough energy and focus to complete all my tasks. But I am hopeful that if I maintain habits, I will be successful enough to reach my financial goals and pay all my bills, while maintaining my home and my sanity.
If so, I'll be able to relax a little, focus on new social contacts. While I may have many contacts, there's only two people that I count as close friends. It's not easy to keep up friendships. I need to invest in my friendships. I'm trying to reserve money and energy for that, but I have not been very successful.
Life can feel like a merry go round that just won't stop. Theres this dazed, disconnected feeling, separate from the alienation, which is separate from the waryness, which is separate from the fatigue.
With all the danger in the world, I'm trying to eliminate as much risk as possible. I'm beginning to feel like the hologram in "iRobot". I want to simply start telling people "My responses are limited, you must ask the right questions".
