Hospital Staff & Relationships

 When you have health problems, relationships can become a challenge. 

    Perhaps the staff at Memorial has misunderstood. Desperation is a dangerous ingredient to the mind. You've known me, for better or for worse, for decades. You brought me out of a coma. You kept me alive. It's the workers on the ground that I appreciate the most. The low-level ones. I did not come there to learn names. I know you well enough. That's the whole damn point. 

    Someone keeps you alive, you tend to remember. It's been a long time since that first coma. 17 years old. 26 years ago. You knew me even before then. Some of you have been there the whole time and are getting ready to retire. So I wrote you the poem. Safe Harbor

Anyways, I mis-learned a bit. That's why I don't want the pills anymore. Just the bare minimum.

Family doesn't like to remember these things. Big surprise.

    But you built me up. Not just one of you.

I just have an issue with misprescribing dinosauric diagnosis addicted docs who lack proper independence.

Notes to Selves

2 Do not return to MIP

3 Do not file reports before checking with Team

2 Do not talk to family

5 Do not think about law

5 Do not speak to or contemplate MIP

7 do not contemplate prescription medications

6 Stay home

5 Do not contemplate the general community

4 Dot not misplace anger

4 be careful with the sense of humor

1 Keep noise down

5 Do not get creative with dealing with the past

4 Do not try to help people atm

5 do not worry if internet connection comes in and out

5 if password reset links randomly show up, contemplate the positives and negatives of filing reports or saying weird things.

4 Mind my own business

That said, a thank you to my team for listening. I'll be quiet now. This is waaaaay too much like "The Departed"... from numb to very aware. No longer care. Not my business. I am not a federal agent. I am not undercover. I am minding my own business. Now I'm retired from medicine AND law enforcement. What else can I retire from?

I'd like to remind everyone to be aware that my hearing is excellent. Maybe Going deaf is a good idea...

This was so much more interesting at a theoretical level.

I'm going to think about my life choices, take some vacation.

A note to charities: Please don't call. I don't actually have any money. I appreciate what you do, really, but I am literally broke and I'd rather spend the money tipping the delivery guy.

7:2

Oceans apart, day after day

And I slowly go insane

I hear your voice on the line

But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never

But how can we say forever?

Wherever you go, whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted all the times

That I thought would last somehow

I hear the laughter, I taste the tears

But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it, baby?

You've got me going crazy

Wherever you go, whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive

This romance

But in the end, if I'm with you

I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it, baby?

You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go, whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you

My Dream

So all this talkin bout dreams... I've lived here a long time. I had hoped to do something for the city... maybe use my words... it's a beautiful city... so many different people... if I can remember enough... maybe write a little... help people know this city... it's more a matter of recall. The memories are there, the psychologist at Clarity said. She said i can't access them, they are blocked.  I can't see the big picture. If I can piece it together, maybe the city can see what I see... so, I guess that's the thing I feel i can't give up. My personal resentments are a smaller thing. My concerns about prescriptions... somewhere in-between. So maybe I can put a few rocks down, grab that chisel... hopefully, give people a good idea. Just don't ask me for names. People gotta live here.