Home

Ok, so writing about my home is going slowly. However, I found a few old files. I'm trying to reconstruct some old stories. Today I've got housework and goodwill. Maybe take a look at selling a few things on marketplace. Work on those taxes. 

Sleep

It doesn't look like I'll be going back to Vinewell. They took it off the list. Just as well. I named them as at fault for not checking my vitals. For the hospital visit. But I'm only sleeping a few hours a night. Well, minimum is about 5. Sometimes as much as 7 or even 8. But that's much different from sleeping 9-11 a night. I'd say my sleep has decreased by 40-50%. Maybe that's why she said I was in a deep sleep with Clozastill. 

Whistling...

Ok. I think the meds are balancing out. I've got more to do list items. I dont know how much public health is benefitting. But for me, its a journey to being more well rounded and functional. Still have the episodes. Ptsd like. But i want to add more. Ive been trying, believe it or not, to protect privacy. But there's only so many metaphors. I know my families fairly well. I knew MA medical well. I have more work to do. But its getting there. Gotta go by goodwill. More around the house. I called the internist about the physical symptoms and then the dystonia started and I forgot. Now its just some red bumps like shingles or chicken pox. But they stopped itching when dystonia went away.

I gotta exercise more and get some sunlight. I've been doing the job search. Small was pretty. I just didn't recognize her. They hid Kenzie in IMU and Red was gone too. Shame. Paytlyn refused to work with me. I think time alone can be good. I miss my women... I remember when I was younger, I used to hug the nurses... that got me in trouble. But I learned a lot too. I like the nurses because they have a different perspective.

Lessons

I think the greatest lesson MIP has had for me in recent times revolves around not repeating past mistakes. Moving on to new things, new people, new ways of thinking. Not repeating the past. Breaking habits. I think people can change. I'm trying to make sure I preserve the good while working out the bad. But it's been confusing. So, I hope that I'm not the only one learning. I hope other people see what truly happened in my life and learn something from it. Whatever they may learn. I want them to learn something. I don't want to be the only one learning. I don't want to be bubble boy. I just want to be. Without being miserable. Preferably. But alive is good too. It's just wierd how people move back and forth between "You're not taking us seriously enough" and "Don't be so serious. Relax." Relaxing can be hard to do.