Trauma and Harassment

    Something that MIP helped educate me about was trauma. It is unwise and unhelpful to bring up someone else's trauma in conversation. Let me repeat that. It is UNWISE and UNHELPFUL to bring up trauma.

    I realize some people will look down on me for being the way I am. That is their problem and not mine. Some people go to war and get a leg blown off, others get medically manipulated and end up in multiple comas and somehow come back. The result is trauma. You can call it PTSD, cPTSD, or in some cases, DID. I do not give a darn about people who are not intelligent enough to have common sense about trauma. The proper term is survivor, not victim.

    Furthermore, please do not make me file reports with regulatory or law enforcement agencies. I do not like doing it, contrary to popular belief. It extremely unwise (read: stupid) to goad or agitate someone with trauma. It is dangerous. I will not apologize for defending myself either physically or via legal means. That is my right and at times it is in the public interest.

    Some effects are permanent. Do not make me file reports. Do not cause public safety incidents. Do not make the ER's efforts to bring me back a vain effort. By intentionally disrespecting an impaired person you are not only committing an immoral action and endangering people, but you are breaking federal law. People can be locked up other than me. People can be Tased other than me. I 100% have the right to defend my person if necessary. 

    I'm REALLY getting tired of explaining the obvious. It is causing many people many problems when others violate federal law. Comments, I can ignore. But if someone becomes aggressive towards me or endangers myself or those I am with, I will defend myself and I will not apologize for that. The less I have to file reports or repeat myself, the better for everyone. I'm rather certain that the FBI, SCDHEC, the medical board, and others have better things to do with their time then separate people who are adults and should know better. 

    I do not discuss my trauma for a reason.

    If your IQ is above 70, you should be able to understand this and be held accountable for a lack of follow through. So, act like it.

Memory Exercise (Per Clarity Learning Center, 2019)

Repeat after me:

Ashes and Dust's memory is IMPAIRED. He can REMEMBER. He may not be able to RECALL.

Repeat that 63 times and then reconsider being demanding of me.

If you still have the desire to be aggressive towards me, consult a psychologist and then a priest. 

The Mental

    I don't know what goes on in people's heads. Now I'm just bitter. Before I was idealistic. Things change. People change. Sometimes there's no going back. I am past the point of no return. Anyone who wants to be in my life must respect my personal space and beliefs or you will not like the result. In short, don't mess with me. I'm tired of repeating myself. 

    Internalized Anger. That was 1997. It's 2025. It seems the anger is still there. Dont play with fire. You will get burned. Just leave me be. I am far beyond caring what your interpretations of my problems with my families are. I need to move on. That means leaving some people behind. Expecting people to change is like expecting the Red Sea to part. Only God does that. The truth is, sometimes life is just that: dark. I've actually written a lot more then I have posted but in the process of dealing with life changes much of it was lost. I can't actually change what I write every time someone doesn't like it. I'd never write anything that way.

IRL

I like playing with my cat. I want to spend more time with my guitar in private. I have a few things to sell. Please don't ask about my past or my family. I have more then a few ghosts. I like art. I like Spanish and French, though I'm not familiar with speaking French. I'm very much into technology. I don't actually like talking about myself. I lean towards European sports. I admire humility. I'm rather sick of being pushed around. I like to read. Ive spent so much time litigating my health that it has consumed me. I like cool weather and rain. I like animals. My skills are mostly academic. God grant me the peace to show up in public again, the patience to learn again, and the wisdom to bite my tongue. Grant psychiatrists the humility they so desperately need and the wisdom to shut their mouths.

Amen. 🙏