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Angels

Now I'm wondering who's thinking these things up because they are getting very clever. Watching the website. Using the records. Coordinating. It's very clever. 

I know so many of them. But you're watching the website. And you saw the dear healthcare worker. And I told only one person about that message. And that person told someone at the hospital. Or maybe the hospital figured it out. Well anyways. The discharge nurse name is on the records. And you know I don't trust those doctors anymore. You know I trust the nurses. And what? Because she was blonde? Small didn't work, so now the blonde nurse. Very clever. Oh, now it's like, we'll tell him the discharge nurse wants him to have these meds suddenly. No thanks. burn or restock. If there are really meds. I have the meds I need. I want to resolve this issue with the old guard. The script happy dinosaurs. I guess it's nice to be heard though. Tell Elle I said hi. We need to see other people guys. I'm concerned about the medication prescribing. Hopefully less concerned with time. I do want to believe. On the outside. Without excessive medication. A little more quietly. I'm middle aged now. Let the young people shine. Go help them. We've so got to stop doing this. Good luck. I got coffee. A few mindful people. These Bipolar meds are concerning to me. The gabapentin thing is particularly disturbing. Knowing Malacheck was in charge of my care and put me on it right around the time the company got in trouble. That was very disturbing. He was charismatic. That can be a problem. Now he's dead. I like coffee. Not enough bagels around. Anyways... pills to take, weird stuff to write, dishes to wash... clothes to... do something with. Hopefully something more useful. So, you know, you're not charting at 4.5 PPH. It was impressive. The Social workers did well. I was rather counting on them this time. Sharon retired. You remember Sharon? She did notice some things. I'd better not let #2 talk our way in again. I felt safe there once. Maybe we finally figured each other out. Ciao.

Combinations

Some people are bad in combination. Some people should stay the fuck away from me. The drugs don't fix this nor shut me up. I'm not your perfect son. I tried. It didn't work. Give it up. Stop the insanity. I'm not him. He doesnt exist. Stop looking. There's a half dozen governmental agencies already watching. Jump ship. Get out. Stay out. It's not looking pretty. I'm medically complex. The ship has sailed. Please go away. Thank you.

Oversensitive

Maybe I'm oversensitive, but really, a warm fuck you to perfectionist doctors, manipulative family, gossiptrees, and the inventors of clozaril. Please go fuck yourselves. Then do it again. Then go walk off a cliff. 

Seriously. The NAZIs had better results. Numbing people out and releasing chaos is not the answer. 

You think this is funny? Really? Which part? Im not seeing funny here. My liver is almost shot. My charts a mile long. Truly. Go fuck yourselves. I'm not going to rest until that shit is permanently banned. This isn't funny. 

I'm so relieved MIP doesnt like me anymore. Place is fucked. They started this. The bullshit with the dx's and the pills. It's your mess guys. Great job. Go back to medical school now. Try that hippocratic oath again. Remember it? No? Funny the things you forget. Go fuck yourselves. Truly. It needs to be done. To-do list it. You're a fucking disaster. You numbed me out and destroyed my body with pills. Congratulations. Go fuck yourselves again. You and your little friends. There's no hiding this GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF. TAKE YOUR CLOZARIL WITH YOU. every day until you remember that oath. Everyday. I'm reserving rooms at McClean now.

Oh but they're still planning the next forced medicationing. See when this started, I thought... I'll make a website, I'll make a few metaphors, maybe people will learn, we'll all move on. Then I noticed how nervous people were. Oh fuck, he's waking up. Oh fuck. He sees the truth. Oh fuck, he's talking. Dammit. Where's the nearest pharmacy? Fuck metaphors, some people never learn.

Cumbersome

 [Verse 1]

She calls me Goliath and I wear the David mask

I guess the stones are comin' too fast for her now

You know I'd like to believe this nervousness will pass

All the stones that are thrown are building up a wall


[Pre-Chorus]

I have become cumbersome

To this world

I have become cumbersome

To my girl


[Verse 2]

I'd like to believe we could reconcile the past

Resurrect those bridges with an ancient glance

But my old stone face can't seem to break her down

She remembers bridges, burns 'em to the ground


[Pre-Chorus]

I have become cumbersome

To this world

I have become cumbersome

To my girl


[Chorus]

Too heavy, too light, too black or too white, too wrong or too right

Today or tonight, cumbersome

Too rich or too poor, she's wanting me less and I'm wanting her more

The bitter taste is cumbersome

No, yeah, no-no, no

No-no, no, yeah


[Bridge]

There is a balance between two worlds

One with an arrow and a cross

Regardless of the balance life has become

Cumbersome