So, I understand that drug trials can be helpful. But, going back to undue influence, patients need to be able to make their own choices. Before they start thinking of suing thier own providers. Or drug companies. Before they start bouncing between offices, ERs and hospitals. Before the FBI steps in. So, I'm happy to help. See, I think the nurses and techs get sick of running around for these doctors. I think musical diagnoses and musical meds is dangerous. I think pushing people so hard and trying to perfect them and antagonizing them with side effects and microanalysis turns them against you. Then you start calling them paranoid, psychotic, bipolar, ptsd, oppositional defiant, fictitious disorders. Things like that. I think some of the EMTs and the counselors and Springbrook understand these things. Then MIP gets all pissed off to be questioned. Woodruff road gets mad. Never mind the guy that worked under church, though I still think he is garbage. I think CBT encourages some unrealistic thinking. It encourages idealization. That's what garbage didn't understand. With the stupid diagrams and snotty smiles. The insults and the bullshit. In working with woodruff road the way he did, he caused a shitload of harm. Toxic Masculinity. That's some of what he taught. He was a poor excuse for a human being. For me, he is the Lucifer of demons. Predatory. Borderline insane. But I worry about that later. I'm sure there's enough pissed off people. He's too old to do much more harm. I'm sure even woodruff road doesn't like him anymore. Maybe now that the blame seems to stop moving around, there's a place to park it. He was definitely a narcissist. I started there in 2002.
So, I guess "my women" like me to stay home because of the autism spectrum type, Central Auditory type, PTSD type symptoms. Because of the run by huggings. It gets awkward. People have work to do. And the MDs are worried about legal issues. Maybe Kelly and Jennifer have further suggestions. Maybe not. Maybe I'll do more taxes when doctors become less on my mind. But one of the reasons I hesitate about the medications is that they interfere with emotional expression. But maybe this Abilify will help. I don't think I've been on Invega. Maybe it would be better. But trying new drugs freaks me out. They say I'm wierd. I've been manipulated by the best of the East Coast, though the Atlanta guy said no. That was intelligent. Maybe McClean should have heard that. I know Austen Riggs knew something wasn't right. I know they tried to say so. And I think Clozaril is to blame. And Clozaril had a home. McClean. They took it off the market, put it back on. I think it needs a permanent ban. Irrevocable. There are newer alternatives. And who's going to complain? The drug companys? It's out of patent. Who gives a crap. Better to preserve people's bodies, their livers, blood sugars, and their immune system. We don't need to be Nazis around here. We don't need drugged zombies who turn against us. Maybe I'll save my lawsuits for the clozaril manufacturers, for the McClean doctor, and for the Narcissist. Because Clozaril didn't come from SC. Atlanta said no. Riggs said we're concerned. But the Narcissist taught toxic bullshit and McClean created insanity. I worry about those Boston area people. The people Woodruff road said were dropping like flies. I wonder what they are doing now. Maybe they should consider legal options. Maybe one of those class actions. Because I think Greenville County is pissed off. Like I am. People make mistakes. But we don't have to repeat the past. I think that's what "my women" mean by permanent. No more medical drama. I think that's why my sister wanted to help. Because she knows. These people know I need, like Artstick said, natural and wholesome. Not drugs. Abilify is safer. I don't know how many people are on clozaril. But I think we have a few small repairs. One doctor tried to say she didn't see it on my record. As if I was that stupid. I don't remember which one. Maybe that's a good thing. There are alternatives, people. Maybe we don't all need law suits. Maybe restitution comes in the form of educating our health care providers, boundaries, shutting down toxic masculinity, and taking clozaril off the market again. Permanently. So, I think the people needing to worry about legal jeopardy would be the ones who make clozaril, the narcissist, and McClean. The rest would be a little bit of realignment with healthy standards. The Narcissist and his friend, MA hospital, Clozaril. Two people, one hospital, one drug. And pushing too hard. Plus some mild AS/capd. Some mild ADHD. And now PTSD. A multistate medical clusterfuck that Atlanta tried to stop. A federal lawsuit or two. A pissed off county. A little bit of clean up. I want that drug off the market. I don't think I'm alone. There's a lot of pissed off people round here.
Sunny sat down in the kitchen
She opened a book and a box of tools
Sunny came home with a mission
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire"
She didn't believe in transcendence
"And it's time for a few small repairs", she said
Sunny came home with a vengeance
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire"
Dry is good and wind is better
Count the years, you always knew it
Strike a match, go on and do it
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire"
The world is burning down
She's out there on her own, and she's all right
Sunny came home
Came home
Home
I was at McClean in two stints. Interrupted by an OD. That occured. While. On. Clozaril.
And now they can't shut me up. Because I'm not alone. The voices are getting louder. In Greenville County. Harvard Drugs trials. At McClean. They're pissing people off.
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