Whatever they intended, saying that caught my ear. I have acute hearing at times. Yeah I hear a lot of what y'all say. But Arson didn't seem to understand DID. Maybe he didn't realize that the overlap of medical complex trauma and DID is important. Maybe MIP didn't understand that Seroquel simply brings it down for a bit. Ativan too. Maybe they didn't understand that bipolar makes little sense. Maybe they didn't understand the importance of my particular boundaries. I don't even know who said that. I think she was a tech. Maybe a nurse. If you break trust, that makes things take longer. And you have to run in 5,000 different employees saying all sorts of goobledy gook and try reaching for all sorts of DX's. The hispanic one and the quiet male helped.
But the ER hadn't particularly inspired trust. Maybe the Spravato went awry. And mentioning Elle's name wasn't helpful. Or City Center. Or the other safe places. Stockholm Syndrome. Safe places. I'm not a criminal mastermind. But I know safety.
But if you have any understanding of that, even without understanding helpers and protectors and gatekeepers, you can understand the rest.
Otherwise, you might get locked out.
I wouldn't get all in a twist. Maybe a little less psychosis/bipolar/paranoia bullshit and just not scare people or fuck with them. You know? I'm assuming you thought I was going to harm someone I mentioned or at one of these safe places. IMA was safe. Not sure I mentioned that one. Maybe just let people make their own choices and not antagonize them or scare them. Maybe I can do that too. If you don't make me talk too much, sometimes I don't need to. Understand AS/trauma a little better. That just may be a win. CCTP. Stockholm Syndrome. Autism Spectrum. Medical Complex Trauma.
Some people are good in combination. Others are not.
Some people understand me better than others. I can mirror you and you can mirror me or we can lock each other out. Y'all love those locked doors. I got locks too.
People talk, I get it. But I'm not exactly sure what you think you were accomplishing with the AA group and the gay thing. I really don't need you to help me understand my substance use or my sexuality. I don't understand the patients modeling dysfunctional behavior. That was fucked up. Really twisted. Nail polish in the end is a substance of itself. It can be removed easily. The right person with the right words can calm someone down. The food was very hard to eat. very hard to eat. It makes no sense. Mainly because you stressed me out and because you made such a humongous deal of the diet that you healthcare people taught me. Go ahead. Lecture and then don't follow your own advice. Makes no sense. I don't understand hospitals. You're making more work for the low levels when you don't follow common sense and your own education. Or misuse drugs or get all high and mighty about a positive THC screen. It makes no sense. You're making people paranoid with this shit, then you drug them and release them into the wild. It frustrates me. Give me something digestible, don't fuck with me, and give me a few people with the right words. Maybe a soccer ball. It's not that hard. Maybe some more natural lighting on the inside. Like the therapeutic lights. Fewer buzzers and more natural sounds like birds or whatever. I don't understand you people. The hospital used to be better in some ways. People seemed to know how to talk better. But agitating and provoking someone in a high stress environment in close quarters is all kinds of stupid. Talking to Prichards and Arson wasn't so bad. Dolyart didn't say much. Groans... I don't remember other then pushing her. I liked Sharon. She had a sharp eye. She was a social worker. They can be very perceptive. I met with three. That was the most helpful part. Gullet barely spoke. McClinton was very detailed. But Seroquel is not a long term solution. I don't believe in those drugs. I think Clozaril is a clusterfuck. A total clusterfuck. Creating vegetables. That the techs and nurses can water and monitor until harvest season. Hopefully I'm not spoiled yet.
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