Rambling

This is when I need to do my crazy old man thing and ramble. So, if you'll indulge my delusionality, I hear things from time to time. Being concerned as I am. In a slightly fixated way. I'm feeling some resentment. About being pushed. Psychologically. Around. And the egotistical types that do the pushing. But maybe I'm blowing things out of proportion. But I want to help people. And I feel like... I've not been able to. I need a lot of space. I need to separate from different groups of people. There are certain things I need to not think about. I can't be on everyone's side at once. I certainly can't defend Prichards to Springbrook. I can't play Springbrook vs mip. And im certainly not finding a new Center or provider to blame. I trusted what artstick was doing. Like leaves and Elle and in a way prichards, she had to go away. Vacations are good. They are. Sometimes people need to go away. Like me from memorial or me from... well Springbrook... and me from mip and me from a lot of people and places. Other people have to go away too. Like divorce and emergencies. I just need to be careful what I say and do. That's all. Like a mental vacation. I gotta take breaks. That's what I need. Slowing down. Simpler. Not sure what to do or how exactly to do it. Going different directions. Not needing too much attention. Mind my own business again. Need to be careful. Too bad artsticks not here. Hard to trust doctors. But they don't trust me either so. We have something in common. But the PA is helping.

So I need to be delusional now and then. About ER doctors lying. About ERs playing games. About state funded hospitals being dysfunctional. And then public health and the fbi can judge my delusionality.