Control

I hope I'm getting the point across that trying to control people or make ridiculous amounts of money is bad. That circling the wagons and groupthink is self-destructive in the end. That cover ups are bad. Because if you still think that no one is trying to cover something up, YOU HAVE NO FUCKING INTELLIGENCE. I'm just waiting for a judge to rule on this once and for all. So people will stop fucking around with each other and with the medical system. That my fucking life mission. FUCKING DEAL WITH IT. I get to have emotions too. You don't have to be around them. It's not a prerequisite. No one is God. NO ONE. So in a sense I am religious. Because I believe that God has given me this mission. To keep certain damn people in their fucking places. As publicly as they make necessary. To keep this state quiet and safe. Cuz this is so stupid. And I had help getting me here. MIP. Didn't teach boundaries. Didn't have independence. Prichards. That Psychologist that taught at Furman. Prick. Certain people I've been close to. Some people just have no sense. But it catches up to you. So now I am property of Greenville, SC and the Federal Govt. Everyone else needs to fuck off. Don't make me repeat myself. It's too late to shut me up. You can evict me. You can do that. Other than that. Not much else. So please do not read this if it upsets you. And do not weaponize this site. But use it to help yourself or entertain yourself. Responsibly. Then mind your fucking business. And i'll continue to repeat key words so people get the point. Not because I like to. But so people get the point. It's so fucking ridiculous you're making me do this. But we all get here. We're here now. Right here. So. Let's make the best of that. Separately. Be intelligent. I know you can do it. I have FAITH. You CAN MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS. Repeat after me. I will shut the fuck up. Good. Now. I will mind my own damn business and not fuck around with other people's business. Good. I will not force medicate or manipulate someone else's healthcare. Now Repeat those three statement 27 times. If you have any questions, consult a priest.

Ridiculous

Ridiculous (noun): Beyond understanding or unexplainable.

Examples:

Gossip trees reporting on one person throughout the community

Having to publish one's medical information online because the medical system ran amuck

A family obsessed with medicine

Getting rich off drugs (legal ones)

Promoting drugs for conditions with flimsy numbers

Having to ask the FBI to monitor your communications and contact your treatment team

Threatening people over their relationship with someone else

Treating someone like they are your property

Reading things you don't like and then bitching about them but then insisting on continuing to read

Illegal activity

Threatening jail for showing up at a hospital

Threatening restraining orders for the same

Manipulating someone else's health care decisions

Operating a family like a cult

Repeatedly invading someone else's business AFTER REPEATED WARNINGS

Being robotic

Psychiatry

saying shit like "well you can pass any test if you take it enough" DUH. hello?

Opening your mouth when it doesn't need to be open.

Trying to erase someone's mind or manipulate them through unwanted education, ECT, or ridiculous prescriptions

Continuing to practice medicine when you fucked up so badly that someone is going from hospital to hospital to try to fix this shit.

Fixating on gender or orientation

Not taking the hint after the 586th warning.

Thinking you know so much that you just can't help but spout your mouth off the same person over and over long after they tell you to fuck off.

Doctors

Having to repeating the same message 5000 times or in multiple languages and dialects.

Needing to use the world as witnesses so certain people will fuck off

Permanent disability... especially when if someone is just left the fuck alone, they might be just fine.

Not minding your own business.

Shipping someone across states because they're not quite perfect and you wanna give it another go

locking up family and expecting them to be happy about it.

Not moving on. Individually. Or expecting another person to move in the direction you want. 

Not understanding that life doesn't go as planned and sometimes people go in different directions

Thinking that biology or medication or religion independently determine everything exclusive of experience. 

Simplistic thinking in general.

Being so jealous of someone that you can't help but fuck with them. Especially if they are broke and alone. It makes no sense.

Medicine Cabinet

Since everyone is so fascinated by my medications, I thought I would illuminate.

Currently, my cabinet includes:

Buproprion SR (Wellbutrin): I really like this one. Depression and offlabel ADHD. Norepinephrine and dopamine primarily. Rather reliable. The xl is fewer pills but the hospital hates xl because of insurance. 

Pristiq (desvenlafaxine): depression. I like this one a lot. Very similar to but seems better then effexor. Serotonin and Norepinephrine primarily 

Remeron (Mirtazapine): this one is low dose, ptsd and sleep but its an antidepressant. Primarily dopamine, I believe

Aterax (hydroxzine): anxiety. Antihistamine. 

Propranolol (Beta Blocker): blood pressure medication used for ptsd/adjusting to d/c of clozaril against the advice of the incredibly controlling and overbearing prichards. 

Inositol (Vitamin B8) (artstick)

Zinc

Magnesium

Multivitamin 

Holy Basil tea

Ashawangha tea

Chamomile lavender tea w/ probiotics

Lavender supplements (artstick)

Probiotic plant protein (artstick)

GABA: found at pharmacy/health food stores

Electrolyte water: to adjust for clozaril d/c and aid general function.

As my incredibly obsessive and at times obnoxious and God complex like brother may fanatically remind people, on occasion I've tried hemp products. These have primarily been cbc and thc. Once it was thcv. Long ago, under prichards advice, i tried CBD. MDs are absolutely obsessed with this stuff. They dont like anything they can't maniacally control. They are obsessed with control. They truly think they are gods, they just don't admit it in public. It's obnoxious beyond all belief. Completely unhealthy. But the fact is Prichards recommended both cbd and thc. FACT. He had other patients on thc and was aware of this. FACT. He manipulated countless meds, often offlabel, often outside recommended dosages. And that will come out in court whether i live or die. That man WILL ANSWER FOR HIS ACTIONS. PERIOD.  END OF STORY. MATTER CLOSED. I WILL HAVE THIS REVIEWED BY A JUDGE. So shut your damn traps. YOU GUYS TAUGHT ME THIS. BLAME YOUR OWN DAMN SELVES. I GOT THIS FROM MDS and nutritionists. By the time I met my counselor, I had already tried cbd and thc. Fact. Thank prichards.

A Special note to obnoxious and unethical health professionals. Any attempt to influence my health care WILL BE REPORTED. SHUT YOUR DAMN TRAPS. FBI, MEDICAL BOARD, DSS, OR WHOEVER NEEDS A REPORT. THANK YOU FOR TUNING THE FUCK OUT. I've already spoke to fbi about this. They are aware. Do not make me put you on a radar. My family, contrary to popular belief does not control the world, nor does anyone control me. Please shut your traps. (FOR the educated, that means stop talking). I'll keep repeating this as often as you make necessary. You don't want embarrassment or federal attention? Shut the fuck up. Get a fucking life. Yeah im angry. Get over it.

Dear ER Staff

The funny thing was, you got a little more twisted out of shape then you needed to be. A dissociative episode does not have to be a big deal. I'm not exactly sure what you found so alarming. But threatening and running a lot of different people in and lying to me are not exactly ways to be productive, gain trust, or help people. 

I do appreciate the Sprite. 

Refusing to change the urine bags when I'm obviously in pain and they are obviously full is just all sorts of stupid. It's not hard. You have eyes. Even if you're a cleaning person you can tell the people standing right outside watching THAT DUH he's in pain and needs help. 

That aside, it was bizarre that the doctor lied about the lab results. There was definitely stuff that you found. And yes, my phone did die. And no my family wasn't helpful. So congratulations, now my emergency contact is my LPC. YOU DON'T GET A FUCKING CHOICE. You contact someone that can help. 

That said. I do appreciate some of the communication instruction and the ideas on what to relay to my family. Not sure why I could not pee. The RNs were very rough. Unnecessarily so. I've had catheters before. They did not have to be that rough, and I can file lawsuits. Remember that. 

Anyways, you guys did fine as far as to keep my health intact. I guess I'll ask my internist to recheck the labs to make sure they return to normal. 

Some of you seemed angry and others amused. You'll be happy to know I do not remember any names. At points I wasn't sure who was the doctor and who was the nurse. If you're wondering where I got the curse words from, you taught me. Remember, Garbage in, Garbage out. You treat me like shit, don't be surprised if I get ugly. You curse, I curse. You lie... I call you out.

Maybe save the comments about shipping me out of state. The guy that transferred me to MIP. I can remember things from time to time. I can be nice. I think you can remember I've been nice before. I can be ugly too. Don't worry about the names. FBI has eyes. So just forget about it.

Let's not do this again. Maybe if there's a next time I'll try Bon Secours. But I like holding people ACCOUNTable. So who knows. If I go back to Mindwell, I'll have a word about the vital checking. Don't worry though, they're not eager to see me either. I've got rather acute hearing. Somethings I can ignore.

I am not the property of my family. You don't need to talk about me being a disappointment to my father or anything about my treatment team or anyone I know. They do not actually control me. No one actually does, but if I am accountable to someone right now that would be my treatment team and the Federal Government. South Carolina did try to succeed. We failed, guys. 

** Author's note: I would have indeed changed it myself, but my hands were not steady and it is a biohazard **