Patience

They tell me I have to be patient. That I have to be of sound mind. Reliable memory. And then there's Justice. But I got tired. Frustrated. Different people on different sides. PRISMO. PSYCHIATRISTS. COUNSELORS. COMMUNITY. FAMILY. SIDES. 

And here I am in the middle. People wondering what's going on. Me wondering where the law is on this. Because to me it's excessive. To me drugging someone up that high and teaching them they are dangerous and discouraging counseling is reckless endangerment and drug trafficking. It's creating mindless zombies that will buy guns. It's creating fear. Terror. Rage. PTSD. To me, that is psychological torture. 

I was suicidal at 13. I was drugged at 10. Therapies of different sorts in elementary school, continuing through middle school. My first Overdose at 17. Coma. Memorial. Wires. Delirium. RIPPING THE WIRES OUT. PEOPLE HOLDING ME DOWN. 

Prichards met me at 16. That was after Klanton. CBT. ADHD > Stimulants > ADHD COACHING > MIP PHP > KLANTON CBT > PRICHARDS > MIP INPATIENT > COMA > MIP INPATIENT > ALPHABET SOUP DIAGNOSES > OD #2 > MCCLEAN > OD #3, COMA #2 > MCCLEAN > LOST AND RIGGED > GREENVILLE > MEDICATION CITY > CITY CENTER COUNSELING > PTSD DX > PURCHASE OF .38 > SELLING .38 > MINDFUL UPSTATE > DID DX > PRICHARDS QUITS > IMA > ROWNEL > ARTSTICK > REDUCTION OF MEDS > CCBH > SPRINGBROOK > ARTSTICK ON MEDICAL > COFFEE > MIP > BACK TO BIPOLAR BS > REMEDICATED AGAIN > COFFEE > DECIDING I'VE HAD IT > FILING FBI REPORT > REDUCTION OF DX's (PRISMA Prompted me to remove problems from my problem list)

My PRISMA Dx's have been reduced from

BIPOLAR

PSYCHOSIS

DEPRESSION

PTSD

ADHD

AUTISM SPECTRUM

CAPD

and the physical 

to

DEPRESSION

PTSD

AUTISM SPECTRUM

CAPD (Kinda redundant with AS but anyways)

and the physical

And now if I can stay stable as I am and away from toxic people and continue therapy it's simply a legal thing about the saga of drugs, dx's, and trauma. Cleaning up a few dirty docs. Cuz this shit don't make sense. 

Other then a few nervous mental health professionals and family members and some anger, it seems better. Seriously though, Does this make any sense? How crazy is it to find someone with a problem, and then gigantically magnify that problem into this huge mess? Across multiple states? Referral city? Medication city? ECT? TMS? VNS? I'm not a cyborg. Well, technically yes. VNS. But I think we missed the boat here folks. But hey, Prichards is PROUD! I've got a Masters! annnnnnnnd... a very unstable life. Poor Physical health. extreme anger issues. And I scare people. Fantastic. 

You know, it's not really surprising to me that I have multiple personalities. It's amazing my body still works. My head's been zapped so many times, magnetized, pulsed from VNS... stimmed, drug city... all legal of course. Even the THC. Legal. But I'm not sure we're impressing anyone. And I'm angry and tired. And broke. And on disability since age 20. Congratulations, us. Really impressing people here. Right now, I'd take the ER's side. I'd be pissed at bringing a guy out of a coma for this. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. That reminds me. A warm shout out to BETH ISRAEL DEACONESS for coma #2.