IMA did try very hard. But they found it all very alarming. The Internist, he tried to talk me through a little, got me connected with some other people.
The nutritionist issue was the key problem. She had been very kind. I still use her knowledge. Oh, the hospital nutritionist was thrilled. We talked on the phone for an hour. Going on and on about this food and that food, and how this works well, and I know why she told you that... Sometimes I'm good at conversation.
MIP got real mad about that. Oh, those shrinks taught me a lot. They got a bit frustrated. Arson is so funny. We've known each other too long. That's why we need to see other people. I don't mind Arson so much, he's just not knowing maybe how to deal with this. Sometimes I wish I could be a fly on the wall. Seems like so many people know so much about me, but my memory is not that good and my focus isn't either. It gets to be like one of those in another world things. We do know each other well. In another world we could be great friends. So many people I know here. But I struggle to remember. I struggle to connect those dots. Because, again, as the Psychology at Clarity said... I can remember, I cannot recall. The memories are blocked. They are still there. I can still remember. It's hard to pull specific memories. Then she disagreed with Bipolar. Along with Artstick and Mindful. PTSD OFF THE CHARTS. DISSOCIATION OFF THE CHARTS. No, some people will never learn. They went to fancy schools. They know everything. Never mind their own damn tests. I'm sure I faked that. So now I do things like walk around saying stuff like I need to FOCUS on REAL LIFE.. not SITTING IN SHRINKS OFFICES TAKING PILLS. it tends to DESTROY THE MIND. Oh you'll remember. You just won't recall. Then you'll be running around collecting labels and pills and when they're not DSM labels there will be plenty of other labels like stalker and pervert and criminal and drug addict and what the fuck do you think you created in the first place? Are you proud? Yall spent a long time on this. I'm sure we all appreciate it.
I like the plant-based diet because it's so easy on my stomach. And I get everything I need. Last night it was pork chop though. Some brussel sprouts. I like to buy the frozen veggies. I need some potatoes. The cat's looking good. He loves my guitar gig bag. That's his new nap spot because I stopped letting him on the furniture as much. He's a good cat. When I hit that 9 or 10 on the thermometer he knows. He freaks out a little. Reminds me to calm down. He's so happy. There was months I couldn't remember the day. After Clozaril. That stuff fucked my brain. and damaged my body. And I hope it is banned permanently. Not safe for human consumption.
Anyways, turn back in for more of the blame game after Mother's Day. I'm sure someone will find something to say.
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