Dear Public,
Do not take drugs. DRUGS COME FROM PHARMACIES. FOR ANYONE WILLFULLY NOT PAYING ATTENTION, THIS SHIT KILLS YOU. DO NOT TAKE THE DRUGS. THEY WILL NUMB YOU OUT. DO NOT TAKE THE DRUGS, THEY DISTORT YOUR JUDGEMENT. DO NOT TAKE THE DRUGS. YOU END UP MESSED UP. For further details, please consult "Personal Thoughts", "Personal Thoughts - medical", or ask to see my mychart, then consult an LPC.
DO NOT TAKE THE DRUGS.
Thank You.
Let's see, what's the latest bullshit?
It's circulating widely. The DSM is getting vaguer. People keep talking bullshit, they find new words for it... Something wrapped up and resold every day.
That's why I have to persistently unwrap this stuff. Demystify. So we can all know it for the Bullshit that it is.
How many drugs can we repackage in different ways? I want people to know how this shit kills you. I want them to see the myChart. I want them to see the problem list. Let's just publish it all. We'll make pamphlets and fliers... RITALIN, GET YOUR RITALIN! Lithium! Seroquel! See how fast it kills you! Liver damage, Nausea, Constipation, BP changes, EKGS, GET YOUR EKGS!
Wanna a resting pulse of 95-100? Take your Clozaril, call me in the morning about the cravings, the immune system, check with a nutritionist 50 times a year. Oh you'll be strong. Completely Numb. Spaced out. Useless. A complete burden on society. One day at a time, a few hundred mg... You'll be locked up forever. Just look at the past 20-25 years. Oh you'll stay breathing. And completely useless. You won't realize until you stop taking the pills how numbed out you were.
Got a cholesterol problem yet? One day at a time, you'll get there.
I like the buproprion. It's orange. My school color. Now, the propranolol's are blue... I look good in blue...
Ativan's yellow... I don't like yellow. Dirty. Pristiq is brown. I like brown. It's a good color... the prilosecs are white and purple like... that's creative... keep taking those... why they make hydroxzine white? I mean, come on!
You take the blue pill, you go back to your life, like nothing ever happened...
You take the red pill, you see how far down the rabbit hole this goes.
I'm hunting wabbits... ders a Psychiatrist around the corner... ready to tell me my fortune and get an insurance payout. How many pills can they manufacture? I'll bury a few out back. See if they grow. Or we can just add them to the water supply. Nevermind fluoride. My teeth ain't broke yet.
Let's see... take a stop down by valium, turn left by klonopin... past what's that version of ativan that lasts longer?
Ah. Minipress. Those were the days... Be careful how you taper, folks. It gets real in a hurry. Thirty eight calibur real. EMS real. You know. The kind that kills people real. Black box warning! Black box warning! we're going down... call Prichards... oh he doesn't want to be bothered... too bad the medical board checked the paperwork. Blame that on Leaves. Go ahead. I'm listening. Find an LPC to blame. No? Medical board not buying it? Oh goodness. You can't be serious! They checked the friggin dosage!?! Why would they do that?!? There's gotta to be a social worker that'll buy this shit. Oh wait. Ran outta those. Let's get creative.
Well, maybe if you call the medical board and say shit, they actually check the paperwork... I wonder how I faked his records... or MIP's records...
Naw. They'd never do that. I wonder how many years they check. I wonder how many prescriptions they found. The house was full of pills. Pills everywhere. How many mgs did he have me on? How fast did i come down? How many people do we want labeled ptsd? Finding out day by day... Pills! Get your pills! Step right up folks, name your disorder and you will be drugged. Don't you go talkin to LPCs now! Don't you do that! We are the mindless! Eat and drug, i always say. Here's your symptom journal and your inventory. Don't forget to give positive feedback. This shit don't sell itself.
You want PTSD? take minipress, do not talk to a counselor.
You want adhd? Become an overachiever. Try to save the world and find a psychologist. You'll be drugged by morning. Might have trouble eating, but you'll make it to depression eventually. Then you can look forward to Bipolar.
You want bipolar? Just run yourself into the ground. Suck it up. Try again. It'll look like bipolar after a while.
Get your pills! Come and get it! Shush up about that black box. We don't have black boxes. We have the commercials with happy people on them!
Let's see, who does not yet know, through paperwork or otherwise, that I have health problems? I could go camping next week, then those people will know. I could move to Hawaii, then Hawaii will know. Hablo Espanol. Mexico is nice this time of year. Maybe Canada has a clinic. Georgia probably already knows...
I could always remind McClean. Or Lost'n Rigged. I saw that Einstein shrink. The PhD in MA. Clarity, Clarify... there's bound to be a shrink in West Virginia that doesn't know. Word travels more slowly there. MUSC knows... Beth Israel Deaconess, how could they forget? They brought me back from Coma #2. The device in my chest is tracked by insurance and doctors, they all know... I hear McClean has so many campuses now! Tomorrow is a new Center! Ill spread the Gospel like wildfire! No, maybe only so many people NEED to know... that boundaries thing... it keeps coming up. Complex medical trauma... who wants to learn? Rule number one: doctors are not your family. Rule number two: the nurses ain't neither. Rule number three, techinicans can have loose mouths. What's that law? Shippa? Crippa? Cant be that important. Just ignorant and well intended. Terraform? Ship in a storm? I'll remember. Nevermind keeping people safe. Nevermind ethics. Let's go piss people off. Pretend we don't notice. That's working out well. Oh wait. That boundaries thing again. There's gotta be a boundary pill. I already ate the DSM. I ate the discharge summaries. It was hard on the plumbing. Maybe i can go to Phoenix, eat thier intake papers. I'd smoke them, but I'd need my inhalor... Gateway's are a bit bland. Need more spice. What would my insurance like to pay for next? I think the rTMS and ECT makes them a bit sick. Spravato irritates my respiratory... Anmed knows me... maybe they have a program or three. I'll just go state by state. Once all the departments of health and human services know everything, then i can move to the next country, then they'll know.
Tomorrow is a new Center! I'm saved! It's a miracle! By Doctor, I am saved! Clozaluyah! Liver be damned! Immune system be damned! Thank the doctor, I am Saved! What does this prescription say? Go home. Damn. They're catching on. Oh wait, here's another! Oh, no, that's a discharge slip. Oh the internist will be so proud. I love to make my doctors proud. I'm thier veggie. The technicians water me. Harvest season is coming. I'll go to the fair... oh look! Another blood pressure cuff! Damn this is fun! I wonder what the numbers will say this time? This is better then gambling.
And now, a message from our Sponsors... the CDC... SCDHEC... every LPC south of the state line... Please do not try this at home. Do not overdose on Depakote. You go into comas that way. Do not not overdose on Lithium. You get dialysis if you're lucky and your body doesn't quit. Do not overdose on three different prescriptions picked up from CVS... you get the desire to sue someone that way... and you'll be lucky if you come back.... Do not see more then one Psychiatrist... you become the DSM that way... it's rather dull, much like the tax code.
I am the Doctor, Saith the Shrink...
Whosoever druggith and believith in Bipolar Shall Never die...
Yet shall he become comatose, Rise up and Run around...
He shall numbeth out... He shall run around...
He shall Psychociate...
I will pilieth on the Antipsychotics,
The mood stabilizers...
The benzos and the off labels...
I will referrith here and there...
As many times as neccessary...
I will titrate up the dosage...
Until he is completely numb and unaware...
And the insurance will pay...
Or the family will pay...
So long as he does not go to counseling or journal ever again...
I'm feeling some relief. I've recieved the neccessary reassurances from the PA and the LPC. Whatever MIP does or does not know about me will become clear from those 600 pages, if not from that then from CCBH's records, the internist's records, the records from City Center Counseling, or from the work I do with the PA, the internist, and the LPC. Or perhaps from Springbrooks records, or the ER records... The LPC's office has consulted an independent psychiatrist as well. The PA and LPC are in lockstep, and I revoked all authorizations for PRISMA to discuss me with anyone without express permission. My medical care has been firewalled. Anyone who interferes with my medical care does so at thier own risk. Gateway knows, CCBH knows, city center knows, mip knows, Mindful upstate knows, SCDHEC knows, Vinewell knows, PRISMA knows, the internist knows, DSS is a phone call or click away, the local police are too. Even the Governor knows. So regardless of what anyone does or does not know, whatever these diagnoses mean, I truly will be ok. Given that I was flagged for a Social Determinates of Harm screening years ago by the old internist, whatever is or is not true about me has popped up on almost every radar across this state. I'm being watched. But these people are trying to help me. Anyone who stands in thier way will be noticed, flagged, and potentially tracked. Abuse has to be reported. Threats have to be reported. Every licensed medical professional has that obligation. Every social worker, every counselor, every hospital, every police officer. So regardless of what the truth is, so long as i follow medical instructions, there is no danger. And I'm home now. Where i can do that.
I divided my favorites list on Walmart+
Self Care
Lightweight low dust litter tidy cat
Friskies cat food
Baking soda
Hypoallergenic soap
Irish spring
old spice
Axe body spray
Laundry detergent with oxi
Nasogel sinus moisturizer
Crest Mult symptom alcohol free mouthwash
Dish pods
Dr Teals magnesium or lemon probiotic
Multivitamin
Hart corded earplugs with carrying case
Loop noise canceling plugs
Scope mouthwash, alcohol free
Purple fluoride wash on occasion (dry mouth)
Epsom salt
Body Oil
Freezer
Frozen fruits for smoothies
Frozen fresh veggies
Blue Bell ice cream
Pantry
Pepperidge Oatmeal Bread
Chamomile tea, probiotic tea
Ginger ale
Rao's homemade Bolognese sauce
Whole wheat spaghetti and pasta
Grated Parmesean cheese
Vodka sauce
Whole wheat bread
16 grain bread
Canned soups with veggies/beans
Chicken bullion cubes
Peanut butter with the "natural, label (brown)
Olive oil... I keep canola and some butter j.i.c.
Blue diamond almonds
Medjool dates
Pringles
Stevia or agave
Vodka sauce
Electrolyte mix for water
Orgain plant protein or generic
Instant coffee, espresso beans
Nutella
Refrigerator
Greek Vanilla Yogurt
Greek Plain Yogurt
Eggs
Lunch Meat
2%, 1 Gallon
Rotisserie Chicken, chilled
BetterGoods Oatmilk Coffee Creamer
President Crumbled Feta
Hillshire Farms Ham Lunch Meat
Block of cheddar
Meats
Rotisserie Chicken
Top sirlion or London Broil <Limited
Center Cut pork chops
Lamb Shoulder Chops <Rare
Lamb Shank <Never tried
Fresh Fruit / Veggies
Baby carrots
Baby Bella mushrooms
Mangoes
Bananas
Red onions
Black grapes, or red
Spring lettuce (red head, sometimes boston)
Cantaloupe
Cosmic Crisp Apples
Sweet potatoes
Kale
Beets
Ginger root
You can't get alcohol (beer, fruity wine, rum), but I do leave a tip. I like the substitution system for low stock items. They have incense. Gum. It's not as high end as prime. Shipping is less reliable. Plenty of choices though. Easy returns. Signature by pass code. Gift delivery available.
