Di hospital got concerned because one night, Spidey was talking to di staff... said how much he appreciates Elle. And dey said, oh, you mean Elle *lastname*? Knot spideys fault dey gab spidey her last name. Wellllll.... didn't take long. Background check. Der she was. She lives down the road. Not far. Not far at all. Dats why I knew I needed counseling. When I say she understands trauma... im not kidding. The background check said it all. So thats why the hospital worries. But really. Ive known where she lived for years. Never went there. Had to delete. Spidey gets a liddle mixed up. Di nurses... sometimes dey understood. Sometimes knot. Leaves understood. Im not always good at talking to people, and family can be difficult. They don't get it. Not atall. They'd rather lock me up. Force medicate. Makes talking to them difficult. They totally don't get it. Not even close. I always liked mental health workers. They understand better. Usually. I guess im feeling a liddle hung up. On the tech. I don't remember her name. I can't keep going back to these hospitals. I keep getting attached to the workers. Im worried about it. And so are they. I cant keep getting attached to nurses and techs. It becomes a problem. Then last time one tried to hug me. And I said I couldn't. For that exact reason. I keep thinking about the technician. I don't really know anything about her. It's getting too complicated with these hospitals. I need to stay outside.  Im getting too old for this.they wanted me to come back in. And what? Here i am again? Ill take technician #4? They said I was not sounding very clear. But im tired of the back and forth. Tired of the med carousel.  Tired of the families. Tired of the name. They're all trying to fix me. Tired of that too.