How it Ends...

    So, I guess I don't qualify for FDIA because I have, in fact, had mental illness. But the way I figure it, there's a few ways this could end for me.

1. I prove to be such a public embarrassment that either my family (not likely) or the hospital system (becoming somewhat likely) says fuck it, we don't want to play anymore

2. I die

3. DSS or law enforcement intervenes (yeah, right)

4. certain people seek counseling voluntarily (not likely)

5. I cut off contact with my family and use Bon Secors if necessary. (Becoming likely)

6. I move away (not financially possible)

    Otherwise, I will be highly medicated and always get the blame and they will always try to fix me. I just don't know how they will ever be happy. We've been doing this so long. I've been through so many hospitals. It's just ridiculous. I am the one they couldn't perfect. Oh well, back to keeping up appearances. I've got a headache and I've been nauseous with all this. I just don't understand the purpose here. I mean, I guess it works out well for them for now, until the next hospitalization. It's hard to see how there won't be another one. These people never, ever give up. 

    I don't see how it just goes away or gets better with the dysfunctional social relationships still alive. Theres no drug, support group, treatment program, center, or hospital that can cure half of a disease. You gotta treat the whole thing. Im still young enough that I could have a life. Unless im just completely out of touch with reality. In which case im truly screwed. Because they've tried to help me. And its not getting better as far as I can tell.