So I guess that's what makes this DID. I know so much about east coast medicine. Y'all taught me a lot. My reality changes from time to time. But each one knows so much about GREENVILLE COUNTY. I know truth things. I need to let people know the truth. The dangers of these drugs. Medicalized perfectionism. False health. That's what I'm focusing on. Keeping people safe in Greenville County. That's what I will do. Live or die. Keep people safe. And I need peace and quiet to do it. So leave me be. And be damn careful about these drugs and doctors. You understand me? You need to be careful. I want people safe, thats all.
Anyways, we can always demonize me, clozaril, prescription drugs, cult like thinking, recklessness, potentially thc recommended by mds, inter hospital warfare, undue influence, god complexes, and so many things. I just hope the FDA hears of it. Live or die. The FDA needs to know. And public health needs to know. The dangers of Greenville county. They need to know. They better hear me on this. Live or die. People need to be safe.
So I think im going to be DELUSIONAL now. I'M going to lie about MY AUNT'S money being stolen by her executor. so someone might FILE A REPORT with MAULDIN police about state and federal laws being violated. Yep. I think I'm going to lie now. I'm going to listen to my conscience and lie. So thats what I'm doing. Lying about my aunts money being stolen. That's what she would want me to do. Lie about her money being stolen. Because she can act on my lies and delusions. She can do that. See sometimes thats what I have to do. Is lie and be delusional about people I may or may not know. It helps me sleep. And people know im lying. Cuz I said so. So thats what im doing.
I'm confident my childhood friend would want to calm waters. She would see what Springbrook was saying about too many pills. She would understand our anger about overmedicalization around woodruff road, the ER, and mip... about lying to patients, DSM mania and manipulating thier healthcare. The forced medication and harassment around CCBH. She would understand. She would help. I know she's the kind of person would make it stop. She would be like Leaves and Elle. She would not allow it. She and her friends would stop them. Permanently. Regardless of my delusions and lies. She would not allow it. I trust that. So I'm going to rest. Let the FBI watch me. Let my friend calm waters. They're all part of my wall that holds back trauma waters. These people.
Apparently, unless and until these hospitals and Psychiatrists agree, I'm delusional and cruel and a liar. So you can treat this all as fiction. Though I don't understand why I can't quit if I'm simply delusional. But we're going with delusional. And they say I'm the wierd one. I'm the wierd one? You people won't leave me alone, but I'm the wierd one. I get to be so damn interesting. Public Health stay tuned. Local menace signing off. Nevermind conscience, we get delusional. Nevermind the people around me, we get delusional. No, its every treatment center from here to timbuktu and we get delusional. If nothing else, you'll understand the dangers of lots of different pills. That wasn't even a complete list. Crazy's overrated.
I also think being honest is important. So I am sincerely hoping that the FBI is shutting down what I believe to be a racketeering operation in Greenville County.
I hope I am being kind by telling the truth about members of the community in my families. Because I see multiple state and federal laws being violated. I hope the FBI and Public Health are working with Springbrook and Vinewell to keep South Carolina safe for everyone. By Vinewell I meant Mindful Upstate but Vinewell can help. To me, one of the kindest things I can do is shut down a racketeering operation in Greenville County.
When the world quiets down, I feel much more peaceful. I haven't heard from MIP or any doctors in a while. Calms the nerves. I even laughed a little. Tomorrow I'm going for coffee. Maybe then we can establish whether I'm of sound mind. I can bring the Ritalin. We can talk about whether it really helps. But I like my current meds. I think my quiz scores were lower. Sleeping is getting better. I feel like I'm eating well. I don't know who I'll have to talk to or what will happen. I don't know how this works. First time for everything. Hopefully the FBI is going through evidence. Identifying which professionals need some clean up. Who may need some secondary cleanup. They say there are victims. Of the medicalized perfectionism. So, they asked me to help. I figure, can't be a forensic accountant, might as well do some clean up. Hopefully, it'll be tidy. We gotta think of the young people. Give them a chance to shine.
Sunny came homewith a list of names She didn't believe in transcendence It's time for a few small repairs, she said Sunny came home with a vengeance.
If I understand criminal law correctly, some people might be going away for a while. I'm counting on some of the Psychiatrists at Springbrook. I think they're pretty pissed off. Pissed off enough to 'switch'. Because now, I can't 'protect' anyone anymore. Do I have to spell it out for you guys? Cleanup time. You know what to do. Maybe after it's over everyone will be flappy. We can Psychiociate less. Enjoy the city. Scripting got out of hand. Too much Bipolarization. They taught me everything they knew. Now it's turned against them. Elle and I used to sit outside, back before they banned smoking. She would have one. I'd tell jokes. Kick around the soccer ball. The food was edible then. It was actually really good. I liked the cornbread.
We've had a bit of a problem. In Accounting, we call this undue influence and failure of internal controls.
Undue influence can take different forms. It can involve what I would call cookie cutter healthcare. Treatment based on stereotypes or the provider's needs/desires rather than the patients. Projection.
It can involve providers banding together to override patient's wishes. It can go so far as to constitute Insurance Fraud and Abuse. Even conspiracy. Happened at Woodruff Road and Assmussen. And Malacheck. The man definitely profited from promoting the same drugs he put me on. With faulty numbers. Gabapentin. May he rest in peace.
It can involve people overstepping authority. Happened at Woodruff Road.
It can involve group think or cult like behavior. In hospitals or communities. Happened at CCBH.
It can involve people stepping out of their wheelhouse. Teaching on a subject they don't understand. Jack of all trades type stuff. Happened at Springbrook, with Ass moose, myself at times, Woodruff Road.
It can involve overmedication. Happened at MIP and Woodruff road.
It can involve shipping people out of state. Happened with Family. It makes no sense to push someone so freaking hard as to ship them around trying to fix them after an MD in Atlanta says to stop. I could have been many things. But no. You needed a perfect image. It makes no sense. Go ahead, blame bipolar. Blame me. Blame the LPCs. Blame XYZ dx.
It can involve doctors manipulating other doctors. Happened on Woodruff Road.
It can involve people changing other people's medication against their wishes, without notifying their treatment providers, or contradicting those providers. Happened with Family. Not just with me.
It can involve excessively contacting treatment providers. Happened with Family.
It can involve failure to rotate staff. Failure to take vacations. Failure to retire. Taking too many patients. Happened at MIP and Memorial and Woodruff Road.
Threatening people, goading them, manipulating them, moving them in and out of hospitals in haphazard manners... these things are not appropriate. Coordination, lack of intimidation tactics, cooperation... these things help. Otherwise, we're wasting time and money. Happened at MIP and Woodruff Road and with Assmussen.
We do not need God complexes. Doctors walking around as if they are all holy, ordering around EVERYONE AROUND THEM. Invasive treatments that are not necessary and waste money. Happened at MIP. McLean, it didn't have anything other than meds, so... yeah. It was shit. Complete stupidity. The unit I was in.
Some people do not understand boundaries. Then DSS gets more work. Law enforcement gets more work. It does not make sense. STOP BLAMING THE PATIENTS.
My friend George says some people should not work in mental health, and that is true. I have met some of them. One was a Ass moose. One worked on Woodruff Road. Some worked at MIP. Others are MDs in the community who insist on interfering with other healthcare professionals and inspire people to file FBI reports. These are God complexes. Know it all's. People who do not take no for an answer and it's their way or the highway. I've heard a lot from these types. Such people are dangerous. They have letters after their names. They inspire legal action. Predatory. Then they pass the blame around. To everyone but themselves. We call most of them doctors. I should know. I've known more then a few. They lose their way. They need limits. More PAs, NPs, and other MDs to share the load. Less medicalized perfection.
I'm not sure why some health care professionals feel they have the right to threaten, insult, or otherwise cause harm to patients. Like those male nurses in the ER, the transfer employee, and Arson... they can complain amongst themselves, away from patients. File their own reports. Shut their damn traps. Take vacations. Rotate staff. Or face lawsuits. Being a bully in sheep's clothing still makes you a bully. Workplaces are not meant for that. Lack of independence, diagnostic bullshit, overmedication. I am not a human science experiment.
Doctors like to complain about auditors or whistleblowers. I've had plenty of earfuls on it. I continue to get earfuls on it. Frequently. But limits exist for a reason. To save money and prevent abuse. Blame me, blame the LPCs, blame the social workers, then fix your damn system.
Some people simply do not know how to shut their traps. Then others have to fight back. They start talking about victims and abuse. I've been pushed by quite a number of people to reach out. I'm not the only one. People have limits. Perfectionism and Narcissism are dangerous. I've known many people like that. I'd like to mind my own business. Which right now includes maintaining my health at home, writing, and maybe taxes if the office doesn't push me too hard.
Anyone over the age of 18 is indeed capable of making their own decisions. Anyone under the age of 18 should not be prescribed certain powerful medications or given ECT. CCBH went way over the line in so very many ways and many people were affected. They earned that SCDHEC visit. There were plenty of patients there complaining that had nothing to do with me. Get over it.
Pushing people too hard is never a good idea. Bipolarizing them. Perfectionisting them. Idealizing them. See Prichards and I mirrored each other. We really did. Too close. Lack of boundaries.
The obsession with CBD and hemp products is NOT HELPFUL. GET OVER YOURSELVES. Threats and intimidation are NEVER appropriate.
Some people understand boundaries. Austen Riggs does. I believe Dr. Einstein who was in Atlanta does. I believe that City Center collectively does. Mindful Upstate does. Springbrook seemed better at them.
Some things we did not know in the 1990s. That one size does not fit all. That people with conditions like AS or ADHD or CAPD... what we call neurodivergent, don't necessarily need to be demonized or given too much attention. Letting them just be themselves is good. Some technologies, therapies, medications are good for different types of these disorders. Using technology or glasses or audio recorders or written communication is not the end of the world. Letting people make their own choices is not the end of the world. Demonize people enough and they will turn against you. And then you start inventing things like Oppositional Defiant Disorder, psychosis, dysregulation, fictious disorders, Stockholm Syndrome, Borderline, PTSD, DID, etc. Maybe just leave people the heck alone every now and then.
I'm also concerned about my aunt. I spoke to the City Police Department. I have mentioned my concerns to a few health care providers. She is receiving disability. That money has been stolen at least once and potentially wired overseas. Which violates at least one federal law and at least one state law. I try not to get into other people's business. Sometimes they make that difficult. They said she has to file a victim report. Or her executor does. I'd really appreciate if someone could change the executor. I don't like involving government agencies or police. I do have a conscience.
I do want this state to be safe. FOR EVERYONE. Some people can't keep their traps shut or keep their hands off other people's property or their egos out of other people's business. I've been pushed by multiple people and organizations to bring some things to your attention. It's become problematic. On Woodruff. At Prismo. Then we can all shut up and go home. Maybe Springbrook had enough independence to do better. The air quality wasn't great. I was having breathing issues. So I was using CPAP a lot. That pissed them off. Air quality is better at MIP. Also better at CCBH, to my recollection. Springbrook is close quarters and not well ventilated. Illness and asthma can thrive there. And it did. Food quality was better than MIP. CCBH was simply a shithole. The building itself was good. The staff was terrible. The food was good, when they didn't spit in it. And I did receive extensive harassment. Which made me a little paranoid and made working with Springbrook difficult for me. But I liked the residents. All of them. It was just that one attending that had some appalling problems with violations of HIPPA and being completely toxically insensitive in the patient areas. Please have a word. Not the female attending. The head social worker needs some instruction on proper boundaries and maybe a little bit on racism. Extremely inappropriate. Unsafe conduct. Inappropriate instruction. Abusive behavior. She needs retraining and possibly a review of her LPC license. Spouting all sorts of nonsense. It was absolutely disgusting. Disgraceful. Lack of common sense.
Why do ERs lie to patients? I was told it's not uncommon to lie to patients. Why do they waste their time, goad people, and engage in abusive conduct? Memorial could use a little of ethics training on dealing with patients. Otherwise, we're wasting resources. For a doctor to say, we couldn't find anything when the lab results come back with all sorts of abnormalities? That didn't happen at IMA. IMA has the highest standards. They took excellent care of me. They did NOT overmedicalize. They did NOT overmedicate. That was Memorial. Woodruff road. It was not fair to IMA. It really stressed them out. MIP needs help on educating people on boundaries. Memorial's ER is dysfunctional. I am appalled by their behavior. The EMTs were great. The ER was abysmal. Moronic. Completely counterproductive. Lawsuit level unhelpful and abusive. You need to talk to them. All sorts of stupid. The doctor's name is on the records. Talk some sense into her. Please. I don't know what she was thinking. They were lying from the get go. ZERO TRUST building. ZERO sense. WASTE OF RESOURCES. Retraining on ethics is necessary. Maybe some rotation or possibly even reassignment. Vacation. Anything but repeating that stupidity. Vinewell can use some reminder on checking vitals before discharging patients. They did not do that. They violated their own policy. I do not believe Spravato is dangerous, but it can affect the sinuses and respiration, besides the dissociative effects. Risky. If you don't want complaints or lawsuits, don't threaten or insult people. Common sense. Anyone that was in that ER needs some TLC with the ethics and quality people. Especially the male nurses. Complete assholes. Counter productive and intentionally rough with catheters. Refusing to change them. Refusing to provide proper food. Just processed shit in wrappers with absolutely no effort. Just all sorts of stupid. Inviting a lawsuit. I've asked my friend Brannon to review this. Along with members of the community. You're welcome to have your opinion. But do not inspire me to sue the hospital anymore then I have already been inspired. Between overbearing members of the community and unethical professionals, I've been given a reason or two. Pass the blame around. Then freaking do something about it. I'll grant that the female employees were cowering behind the males and that put maybe some pressure on the males. But really, y'all outnumber me dramatically. You have security right there. You have cameras, locks, gloves, all sorts of protection. Why are heck are you so cowardly and hateful? Why do I have to file reports and contact FBI? freaking cowards. Between family members and health care professionals who cannot properly manage boundaries, dangerous prescription substances, and words, y'all are messing this place up. Maybe I helped. Let's stop. Because there can be lawsuits and Federal intervention in Greenville SC. And it's not just me. I've been pushed to say something on behalf of others. People with my last name need to take it down several notches. and keep it down. People in the hospital need to have proper independence and ethics, especially around powerful drugs and invasive treatments. I also felt that Anmed did better, but I'm not from Anderson. VNS and rTMS are not compatible. Sleep Apnea can be caused by antipsychotics, psychological stress, and/or undiagnosed or undertreated allergies or asthma. Anyone whispers a word to try to influence my healthcare, and the FBI will hear about it. Anyone harasses me, the FBI will hear about it. If I have to bring Federal agents into this county, I will see that it happens. Stop fucking around. People can be sent to McLean other than me. People can be sent to jail or fired other than me. I'm not the only one in any of this. MDs, Psychologists, people in the community are on notice. Please fuck off. I do not need that much attention or manipulation. Former CCBH employees, you earned it. The harassment did not help you. It does not speak well of your former place of employment. You caused that hospital to lose 50,000$. Not me. YOU. You also affected Springbrook by making me more paranoid. Everyone play nice. This is not helpful. If I'm in a ER JUST SPEAK THE DAMN TRUTH. DON'T PLAY GAMES. YOU HAVE ARMED GUARDS. DON'T BE STUPID. I liked the NP at MIP. She was good with boundaries. She did start the low dose aspirin which was discontinued. Just use common sense people. Follow your own damn advice. Be honest. Proper nutrition. Good communication. Stop being paranoid about me. I'm not that dangerous. Have proper boundaries. Don't blame me if you can't follow your own advice. It makes you look stupid. It wastes people's time. It wastes resources.
My father used to say, do as I say, not as I do. Well. He taught y'all well. You can't follow your own damn advice. God complexes. Blatant lying. Harassment. overmedication. Undue influence. Stupidity.
Anyone that has it in their head to contact me about this outside of the comments or the email will be reported to the FBI. Go ahead, pass the blame around. Demonize. Psychociate. Waste your darn energy. Laugh. Deride. Insult. Build evidence for lawsuits. Then shut the heck up and go home. Those male nurses NEED TO BE SPOKEN TO. Retrained on proper procedure. Same for the ER doctor. Arson could use a vacation. The man's worked hard. I don't know what the attending at MIP was thinking. Whatever it was, try again. Step off your pedestals. If necessary, if I do end up there again, give me someone like the NP. Use proper boundaries. Rotate staff. Correct people that go out of line. Not just me. You did do that. Some people were not always corrected. lying about other professionals and interfering with them and lying to the patient and failing to follow Federal or South Carolina are all grounds for lawsuits. Mike, shut your trap. Keep it shut. You're already on verge of being reported. The licensure board is standing by. Just give me a reason. Parents, enjoy RETIREMENT. Not further practice of medicine. Sister number one, Stop running around and passing your kid around PLEASE. Shut your toxic mouth PLEASE. You are abysmally toxic in conversation. Horrible boundaries. I love you, I do. I was there during cancer. You need to tone it down. Sister number two, good job. Uncle, keep your darn hands to yourself and develop common sense about the internet and women. I do not need this many people messing with me. Play nice. If the healthcare professionals in this state could please disregard my family's medical advice and behavior, I appreciate it. It's gone too far. I need people to keep eyes open and ears shut around my family. I'm sorry to have to say it. Saved lives. Poor boundaries. God complexes. Take it down several notches and keep it there. Don't make me file reports or repeat myself. PLEASE. Driving me nuts. Literally. Mike, shut your trap again. Please. Seriously. You guys have horrible boundaries. You're made it dramatically obvious. We need to stop.
FBI, thank you for... doing what DSS did not seem to be able to do. Getting people to stop screwing with others people's business and back off. Let's all develop some common sense.
If my family wants to rearrange my anatomy, medicate me, evict me, plan my career, decide exactly what I should do, say, and think, as they have often done in the past, they need to least include my treatment team in those plans. Seriously. And stop harassing me. I would like to make a plan to buy my residence and my car. You stuck me here with no input from me and have dictated everything to me. We're here now. I know you want to sell this place. I should have a say in that. I don't know what sister #1's problem is, I don't need to know, but she needs to work on whatever that is and stay far away until she works that out. Husband too. Not healthy. It's just sad when I have to involve the FBI to get various people to stop screwing around with each other. It really is. But this is nuts. I will be in continuous contact with my team and with government agencies as needed to stop this dysfunction. Harassment will be reported without further warning. Nonsense. Why on earth does everyone feel the need to m around with some 43-year-old disabled man? Do y'all really enjoy it that much? Does it really make sense? Clozaril is absolutely a bad medication. 100%. I hope that eventually they find the light and ban it permanently. Or at least very tightly control it. Much more tightly. It really does degrade the physical health. I don't see how it helps mental health. There's plenty of alternatives. Safer ones. I really do think that my mike needs some ethics retraining and vacation time. His influence has been extremely unhelpful. and unethical. And he needs to shut his damn trap. The MDs in my family have a big problem with interfering with other professionals. BIG problem. I tried to warn the medical board. Now I'm having to warn DSS and FBI. It's just very unhelpful. All sorts of inappropriate behavior with my aunt and myself. It's sad. It's very sad. I really think my aunt needs independent eyes on her. Someone else in charge of her money. Her healthcare should not be managed by anyone other than her doctor.
Woodruff Road, my family, and the Furman Psychologist all have poor boundaries. MIP has too at times. Now, everyone, play nice. If you don't have anything nice to say, keep your damn trap shut and keep it shut. You're all adults. Act like it. Then I can too. If Woodruff Road had used proper ethics, if my family had, if the psychologist had, if MIP had, this could have been stopped sooner. Stop trying to pass the blame to other people. At least other than me.
There are some things I would not have to say publicly if I did not see Federal and State law being disregarded. Including property theft, harassment, abuse, unsafe prescription practices, and activities that verge on human trafficking, assault, drug trafficking, tax fraud, bank fraud, and reckless endangerment. I don't know where all the lines are. I worked in tax. It worries me. And not all of it has me as the victim. It concerns me. Do not make me file reports. I don't want to put anyone in jail. Do not ask me to protect you or to help you with anything that should not happening.
The hospital system, some professionals, and some family members need to work on their behaviors. And I'll be having legal conversations with Prismo and Greenville Psychiatropy eventually. I'd sue the Furman Psychologist, but maybe I should leave that one alone. The Psychologist and the Psychiatrist violated a number of laws. I hope they have reflected on their actions. So, stop asking or trying to influence me or the facts. I don't want to have to sue anyone else or file any other reports. Seriously. Leave bad enough alone, alone. If you keep bringing it up, you simply make it worse. Develop some common sense. That's looking at you Prismo employees, family. Shut your damn traps. You're not helping yourselves. We dug this hole together. This is dangerous behavior. Develop common sense.
We've medicalized and demonized me near to death. It has taken all my energy just to deal with it and to try to stop it. It needs to stop. Play nice. Mind your own business. Especially my mike. Further violations will generate reports and record keeping. I do not want to have to get my own kin in legal trouble. So don't dig yourself further. You've done this to yourself. But not knowing when to quit. Take a vacation. Enjoy life.
If you need to harass me, bitch at me, or have legal issue with this statement, please contact my treatment team or email me at rferlau@gmail.com. Then fuck off, as the ER liked to say. Y'all taught me well. I need the abusive behavior among various people to stop. Not just towards me or my team. Other people in the community are frustrated. If this stresses you out, take a vacation. If you get the impulse to say or do something stupid, remember the FBI and us not wanting federal agents taking action. I hope I've been clear. I'm tired of repeating myself with different words and in different languages. Please make this the last time I have to pull names or file reports. I'm tired. Been running around too much. Too much medical. I really have no idea what my internist thinks about this other than agreeing with the rest of my health care team that it's a mess. That whole office seems rather... disturbed by the excesses of the medical. I picked her because I knew she would not have the same approach. This is way out of hand. Family and former medical professionals: stop worrying, stop analyzing, stop fixing. Don't come back with another referral or consult or plan or idea. Let other people have a turn.
Everyone, whatever your issue is with me, my family, or anyone else, do not make me make the FBI stand between you and anyone else. I'm tired. I need to FOCUS on REAL LIFE. Not DIAGNOSTIC BS.
Thank you,
Ashes and Dust
With thanks to the Medical Board, SCDHEC, Brannon, my healthcare team, K J H, G J, most of Springbrook, DSS, Mindful Upstate, City Center, FBI, the Governor, Timmons, the Director of Social Security Greenville, and the people with common sense.
See, I was afraid of these doctors. They keep finding me and trying to drug me into silence. But some people won't let that happen. Because they say there are other victims. So the hospital has a problem. And now the FBI is here.
I was afraid to go to the Sheriff about the harassment and the drugs. I was afraid to go state. Some people are very connected. I needed Timmons to give me some confidence. I needed the medical board. I needed the records. The hospital with the name on the building, it's got a federal problem. There's a lot of laws in question. People are concerned. Others are trying to cover it up. Greenville County has a problem. Some people are angry about it. But I trust my childhood friend from the health dept. I trust the FBI. Some people want the drugs to stop. The medicalized perfection. They have asked me to say something. The name on the building thing. And I am very concerned. After two comas, I should be. That's why I say, dead or alive, it will stop. And now the federal government is going to help with that. Less drugs in Greenville County. There are people that know me. And I can make it stop. It's just a matter of the FBI going through the evidence. Determining which doctors went too far, and lining up all the facts and, if necessary, charges. Because I'm tired. And I know what the FBI can do.
Too many witnesses, too many records, too many facts. It's just a matter of time before a federal judge rules on this. I can be patient. In the meantime, I think my childhood friend needs to get with her coworkers, take a look at the public hospital system. Review personnel and records. Because there will be a court date eventually. I don't know what other victims. I don't know the charges. All I know is that it's coming. And with the Federal government in town, I think I'll be alive.
It's much more peaceful when I'm not being programmed. The government can worry about the doctors. It's out of my hands. I don't know why Malacheck is dead. Out of the country. Seems like an odd coincidence. They couldn't find cause of death. some sort of substance involved I'm told. I don't know where Assmussen is. He better not go anywhere. I think he might need to answer some questions. I guess it's too late to warn the doctors anymore. I told y'all to stop peddling drugs.
I like Vinewell. Maybe we get too comfortable. It started to feel like an mip thing. Especially since some of them work there. It started to feel too comfortable. Plus I was making ruby slippers nervous. She was sweet. Then I had another lady. We had a good groove. Maybe my allergies were just getting too bad. Maybe they got tired of seeing me. I never spoke to the doc but I saw him from time to time. Maybe I'm oversensitive. I like simple. I don't like know it alls. I never asked to hug them either. I did ask about that mip nurse once. The one that liked the poem. She was nice. It's funny how they get so worked up over I'll listen to. What I do. Im a 43 year old disabled guy. Not that important. Maybe I'll go back to taxes. Or teach. Some people just don't know how to shut up. Elle was never like that. Always the right words at the right times. So yeah I switched. I turned against liberalized medicine. Against too many pills. They forced me to. That's why I talk about legalized drug trafficking, human trafficking, abuse, fraud, and reckless endangerment. That's why i think about lawyers and guns. That's why medical complexity trauma. That's why two comas. That's why I worry about them trying to bury me. Because what they do is dangerous. Borderline criminal. So now the FBI stands between me and the doctors. Until they shut the fuck up. Though... with the records and witnesses, it may be too late. People are pissed off. I can't control the law, but they don't scare me. This looks alarmingly like racketeering. A shit load of state and federal laws in question. I can't protect anyone. It's gone Federal.
Ok, maybe contacting the FBI was excessive. Been a side effect off excessive education (psych/it/cj/business/tax) is a knowledge of what these people are capable of. So I guess being tired of doctors and being pushed too hard can have unexpected results.
Anyways, I've liked my internists. Which is part of why IMA couldn't keep me. The counselors office and the internist became safe zones. I was either there or at home. I need to stay the hell way from memorial. They hate my guts. I could have gone elsewhere. Maybe accountability is overrated. The old internist tried to protect me. But I was making people nervous.
Now I have the new one. She reminds me of my old friend. She doesnt say much. The staff says plenty. They like giving me those ekgs. Checking my BPs. I never see the male doctor, I just know he's there. I can tell from the way they act. Nervous and all concerned about appearances and distances. I like that its called family medicine. I swear she hardly says a word but she chooses so carefully. I'm not sure she's ever smiled. Very delicate and precise. Detailed records. Mostly stops meds that mip starts. She's pretty. The receptionist seems to find me irritating. I'm not always timely but I don't like to be there long. I tend to make people nervous. I think I met two nurses. One is rather cheerful and pretty. The other seemed more anxious. Unlike IMA and the allergist, I haven't actually asked to hug anyone. But I seem to have developed a reputation. Oh he's good with words... maybe too good. Side effect of education. Yeah I've been spending a lot of time with women. Tired of the male God complexes. Narcissists. The few, the proud, the inordinately stuck up. Drive me nuts. Literally.
So now the liberals are starting to hate me and the conservatives seem slightly relieved but nervous. And I've been contacting state and federal agencies. Because I'm too pissed off to shut up and too strong to die. The liberals will find me though. I know they're looking. They won't shoot me they'll just medicate. I like nurses. They find the middle ground. They avoid extremes. But the obsession with hemp products enrages me. The internists haven't mentioned it.
