Wanted: One Black Widow, for mating and related activities, nest building, cobweb spinning, and other duties as required. Must have excellent communication skills, a sense of humor, and a down-to-earth personality. Nursing or doctorate degree a plus. Interest in History or video games a plus. No kickers, biters, or yellers.
Please submit letter of inquiry to ashesndust@outlook.com. Serious inquiries only.
I think I realized how I got off track with the hospital. I got too focused on the legal threats. What I need is that sense of humor. It's all about the focus. I need to focus on some joy and some humor, not a regimented idea of taking exactly this medicine at this time, etc.
Dear Elle,
I've been working on getting this place in order. Have you played tennis? I used to enjoy hitting the ball around. That was before I got into pickleball. I've been having trouble motivating. It's just not the same anymore. But I try to remember your example.
The girls are so much fun. Everyday, we get together... Jess does cartwheels and handstands, plays games with the others. Jenn contemplates the greater mysteries... sometimes we take a break and go out. Ashes got some new lighters for the incense, thinks about burning down hospitals. It's great. We try to discourage him. Vlad's always flying around, trying to keep everyone on the same page... We've been having trouble writing. I think we got off track with the hospital. They don't like DID so much.
It's really a relief to open up sometimes, let us all out. We just be ourselves. Hard to do that in the real world. That's why we need to stay out of hospitals. I hope you are well.
Love,
Sarah
This is yor FABORITE arachnid, SPIDEY! I'll be yor host for today's edition of DarknessUntilDawn!
In Healthcare News, five days ago, an outpatient hospital was approved for Patewood drive. It will be focused on providing top notch, quality care for non-overnight hospital stays.
More then 100,000 South Carolinians could lose health coverage due to a loss of health care subsidies in the federal budget.
Onto di wedder, the heat wave will be continuing until the end ob di day. Stay hydrated and watch your sun exposure!
Best wishes and stay safe Greenville!
This was so much simpler when we thought I had Bipolar, but it wasn't Bipolar, I was miserable, and the meds were making me worse. Bad psychiatry.
Right now I'm waiting for the psych to get back from vacation so I can decide between inpatient and outpatient. I barely function. Not sleeping much, can't stop thinking about the hospital. Spaced out, the ad thing won't even add my site. Keeps coming back with explanations I don't understand. I've been talking with the oncall. I feel a sense of urgency to act but I don't know what to do and I can barely think straight. The Hospital used to feel safe.
My family and the hospital are not being realistic about the nature and severity of my mental illness, and that is a huge concern. They believe I am more functional than I actually am and that the difference can be attributed to THC, which is false. This worries me because if I need help, they will treat the wrong problem with the wrong solutions and I won't get the help I need, and I feel that I'm likely to need help, given the debilitating nature of DID. Mental Health has many myths, this is one I was not aware of.
It makes me very nervous around family and hospital staff, because I don't know what to expect. Sometimes it takes me a while to recover from an encounter. The stress exhausts me and sometimes makes me physically sick.
Guilt is ever present in today's society. Because shame is a way that society enacts control, guilt is a holiday thing, it is a duty thing, it is a thing of accusations and recriminations. It is the relative that keeps asking no matter how many times you say no. It is the friend who lays everything on you. It is the inverse of duty, it is the failure to meet obligations imposed, whether rightfully or not.
To me, the weirdest part is the strange headaches I get. It feels like different parts of my skull want to come off. Last night I only got four hours of sleep. I cant get myself to sleep enough. I worry about the future. Especially when it seems like the hospital does not have my best interest at heart.
Conversation is hard. I don't feel like I can be myself with people. after every conversation, I feel like I think of five different ways I could have said something else. At times I feel betrayed.
Like the hospital was never working for me. And they seem more interested in burying it, then understanding what the real problem is.
