So, I understand that drug trials can be helpful. But,
going back to undue influence, patients need to be able to make their own
choices. Before they start thinking of suing thier own providers. Or drug
companies. Before they start bouncing between offices, ERs and hospitals.
Before the FBI steps in. So, I'm happy to help. See, I think the nurses and
techs get sick of running around for these doctors. I think musical diagnoses
and musical meds is dangerous. I think pushing people so hard and trying to perfect
them and antagonizing them with side effects and microanalysis turns them
against you. Then you start calling them paranoid, psychotic, bipolar, ptsd,
oppositional defiant, fictitious disorders. Things like that. I think some of
the EMTs and the counselors and Springbrook understand these things. Then MIP
gets all pissed off to be questioned. Woodruff road gets mad. Never mind the
guy that worked under church, though I still think he is garbage. I think CBT
encourages some unrealistic thinking. It encourages idealization. That's what
garbage didn't understand. With the stupid diagrams and snotty smiles. The
insults and the bullshit. In working with woodruff road the way he did, he
caused a shitload of harm. Toxic Masculinity. That's some of what he taught. He
was a poor excuse for a human being. For me, he is the Lucifer of demons.
Predatory. Borderline insane. But I worry about that later. I'm sure there's
enough pissed off people. He's too old to do much more harm. I'm sure even
woodruff road doesn't like him anymore. Maybe now that the blame seems to stop
moving around, there's a place to park it. He was definitely a narcissist. I
started there in 2002.
So, I guess "my women" like me to stay home
because of the autism spectrum type, Central Auditory type, PTSD type symptoms.
Because of the run by huggings. It gets awkward. People have work to do. And
the MDs are worried about legal issues. Maybe Elly and Jenn have further
suggestions. Maybe not. Maybe I'll do more taxes when doctors become less on my
mind. But one of the reasons I hesitate about the medications is that they
interfere with emotional expression. But maybe this Abilify will help. I don't
think I've been on Invega. Maybe it would be better. But trying new drugs
freaks me out. They say I'm wierd. I've been manipulated by the best of the
East Coast, though the Atlanta guy said no. That was intelligent. Maybe McClean
should have heard that. I know Austen Riggs knew something wasn't right. I know
they tried to say so. And I think Clozaril is to blame. And Clozaril had a
home. McClean. They took it off the market, put it back on. I think it needs a
permanent ban. Irrevocable. There are newer alternatives. And who's going to
complain? The drug companys? It's out of patent. Who gives a crap. Better to
preserve people's bodies, their livers, blood sugars, and their immune system.
We don't need to be Nazis around here. We don't need drugged zombies who turn
against us. Maybe I'll save my lawsuits for the clozaril manufacturers, for the
McClean doctor, and for the Narcissist. Because Clozaril didn't come from SC.
Atlanta said no. Riggs said we're concerned. But the Narcissist taught toxic
bullshit and McClean created insanity. I worry about those Boston area people.
The people Woodruff road said were dropping like flies. I wonder what they are
doing now. Maybe they should consider legal options. Maybe one of those class
actions. Because I think Greenville County is pissed off. Like I am. People
make mistakes. But we don't have to repeat the past. I think that's what
"my women" mean by permanent. No more medical drama. I think that's
why my sister wanted to help. Because she knows. These people know I need, like
Artstick said, natural and wholesome. Not drugs. Abilify is safer. I don't know
how many people are on clozaril. But I think we have a few small repairs. One
doctor tried to say she didn't see it on my record. As if I was that stupid. I
don't remember which one. Maybe that's a good thing. There are alternatives,
people. Maybe we don't all need lawsuits. Maybe restitution comes in the form
of educating our health care providers, boundaries, shutting down toxic
masculinity, and taking clozaril off the market again. Permanently. We need a little bit of
realignment with healthy standards. The Narcissist and his friend, MA hospital,
Clozaril. And pushing too hard. Plus, some
mild AS/capd. Some mild ADHD. And now PTSD. A multistate medical clusterfuck
that Atlanta tried to stop.A pissed off county. A
little bit of clean up. I want that drug off the market. I don't think I'm
alone. There's a lot of pissed off people round here.
Sunny came home to her favorite room
Sunny sat down in the kitchen
She opened a book and a box of tools
Sunny came home with a mission
She says, "Days go by, I'm hypnotized
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire"
Sunny came home with a list of names
She didn't believe in transcendence
"And it's time for a few small repairs", she said
Sunny came home with a vengeance
She says, "Days go by, I don't know why
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire"
Get the kids and bring a sweater
Dry is good and wind is better
Count the years, you always knew it
Strike a match, go on and do it
"Oh, days go by, I'm hypnotized
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire"
Oh, light the sky and hold on tight
The world is burning down
She's out there on her own, and she's all right
Sunny came home
Sunny came home
Came home
Home
I was at McClean in two stints. Interrupted by an OD. That
occured. While. On. Clozaril.
And now they can't shut me up. Because I'm not alone. The
voices are getting louder. In Greenville County. Harvard Drugs trials. At
McClean. They're pissing people off.
