It Would be Rather Awkward...

If I had to ask County Sheriff to arrest family members or anyone else. You know. Since some people seem to think they can control Greenville County. But technically... some people have violated multiple federal laws. That's not something that helps me sleep at night. "Protecting someone" Springbrook said. Too many meds, they said. But no, let's pretend its all kosher. We like the money. 

Confusion Regarding "Help"

I need to be clear on "help". The people "helping" me are my friends and health care providers, free of undue influence. We have a job to do. Anyone else needs to mind their boundaries, keep conversation related to matters not pertaining to medical or legal. This is me trying to help you. Don't get yourself in trouble. Let the law do what it needs to do. Once this is cleared up, then you can talk about it. Let me help you. Don't get in my way on this. Don't distract me. I'm busy. If you need something, Voicemail, text, email, postal mail. And once my work is done, then I can be funny again. People around the world read this stuff. I don't know who's telling whom what or how seriously they take it. But people in this county need to watch their boundaries.

You know, I used to wonder where the word "county" came from. Then I remembered medieval times. A Count was a minor lord. Ruled over a very small area. Just bigger than a mayor, I guess. 

Help

    Now, accountability is not a bad thing. Auditing is not by nature a bad thing. It cleans out the herd a bit. So that the people who are not able to do the job properly do not cause harm or tarnish the reputation of the remainder. That's what I'm hoping for. Is to keep everyone safe and encourage good ethics and responsibility. I just hope people are paying attention before I go to court. Because if we do a little clean up outside of the court room, then things are less messy in the real world and the courtroom has less work to do. 

    Some professionals have bad boundaries. I'm harping on this to make sure I'm getting the point across. Because I only need to sue so many people. And I don't actually relish the idea. I do it because it is necessary. Because the public has a vested interest in a safe and effective health care system. I want people to be able to trust their doctors. We can't do that if there are irresponsible professionals out there. Right now I need to focus on real life and getting ready for court. the people in my life need to focus on not obstructing justice so that they don't face criminal charges. It's not a good idea to make this messy. That said, I hope public health is paying attention. Because, again, I've been asked to say something.

    Greenville County has a problem. Doctors are not acting in the best interest of patients. Lying to patients generates health problems and lawsuits. It generates resentment. It generates people going elsewhere. So now I've fired my ENT for dishonesty, incompetence, and not acting in my best interest. But the GI doc and the internist and allergist have been responsive. The neurologist... is more responsive then the Psychiatrist was. And I have two referrals for new ENTs. Some people want to sweep all this under the rug. They go to great lengths to cover tracks. Including CCBH, Woodruff Road, and my family. Medical people like to hide their mistakes. They don't like being questioned. Which only makes it uglier when the truth comes out. So we shouldn't drag this out. 

    We need to let a court decide. And when the time comes that I am ready, I will talk to the lawyers and we'll go over the evidence and determine who will be named as a defendant. We'll be responsible, we won't waste the court's time. We'll definitely be looking at McClean, clozapine manufacturers, Woodruff Road, and the guy that worked under Church. Probably MIP. And if everyone else keeps their damn trap shut then they won't need to be named as defendants either. 

    I do not want to have to look at racketeering or obstruction of justice. I do not like locking people up. I know what that's like. We just need some accountability. So that people can be safe from liberalized, NAZI like medicine. In the end the State brings criminal charges. Not me. That's not up to me. I just tell them what happened. And I know for a fact that the state has little interest in putting doctors behind bars. Not exactly a great use of resources. But it can happen if necessary. So I need people to keep their mouths shut so that I don't have to file reports. It's nasty business. My team and I find talking to the FBI rather frightening. Especially when they say little in return. Then we wonder what the heck they are doing. Maybe nothing. Maybe more then nothing. We don't know. But that's the whole point. If, in fact, they were to be conducting a criminal investigation, they would not say so until they have all the facts and are ready to move. So again, maybe nothing at all. Maybe more then that. I don't know. 

    What I do know is that a court date is coming. And fighting it only makes it more inevitable. Because at this point I have assured the FBI that I will cooperate with whatever they are or are not doing. So I have an obligation of my own. And people that are counting on me to make sure that this county is safe. Good ethical medical practices for the kids. Responsible use of Federal funding. I have enough experts that have verified that I have major medical issues. One of those issues is regarding ability to recall past events. Clarity brought this to my attention. That alone makes working regular hours difficult. The autism spectrum is actually a smaller problem. Clarity also brought up my difficulty in seeing the bigger picture. Connecting Dots. They pointed out my auditory processing difficulties. This was in a controlled environment. I'm not so intelligent that I can fool this many people. It's literally not possible.

    So instead of arguing over whether or not it is real or who is to blame, the effective person would accept reality (I am disabled), try to deal with that reality realistically and compassionately, and seek corrective action to protect others. We are working on those things. Keeping people safe. In the real world, unfortunately sometimes things go wrong. That doesn't mean lashing out blindly. It does mean moving on. But it also requires accountability. To keep people safe. My father learned that the hard way. I inherited his stubbornness. But I intend to use it for good in my own way. Help fix this ridiculous medical system. Part of that is getting people to respect the instructions of the professionals that are doing the right thing. Part of that is to correct or retire the professionals that do the wrong thing. One thing I would suggest for the hospitals is to have the engineers and architects consider better controlling sound. Less auditory chaos in hospitals decreases stress and increases privacy. I really hope someone is taking me seriously here. I have been in your hospitals so much.

    You might as well help yourselves by listening to honest feedback. There are things you can change that make it better for everyone and wouldn't even cost that much. Some extra soundproofing material. Not the end of the world. Don't make me repeat myself. Lawsuits get started that way. Not just mine. So let me help you. I'm not even charging for the help. It wouldn't have to be this ugly if you LISTENED, didn't engage in COVERUPS, and were RESPONSIBLE. Undue influence. Look it up. Then make sure your doctors are being ethical. I don't like calling the medical board. It freaks me out. I called twice now. Once about my former psychiatrist and once about someone manipulating my aunt's meds. Don't make me call these kinds of people.

    Anyways, stop freaking out about lawsuits. The evidence and the lawyers will do the talking. Only the guilty have cause for concern. I'll be avoiding family until it's over. Otherwise I'm caught between the community and my family and it's pissing people off. Hopefully soon I'll be able to write and do more happy things. First, I have work to do. 

My Life

It doesn't make sense. It seems like one long confusion. But I trust the people I'm working with. I'm glad for that. It's good to have people you can trust. I miss my friends. I think of Robin Williams, Don Henley, James Taylor, Poe... I know I'm not them. But what would some people do? People who other people see as having been great? The more I know, the less I understand. All these things I thought I'd figured out, I'm learning again. I need to make sure my soul is in the right place. Until my life stops seeming like a cross between a criminal enterprise and a medical cult. Some people are bad in combination. And I really have been taught by some bright minds. Things got a little scrambled. I can remember, I can't recall. Somethings that I do recall I will never see the same way again. Where does the talk of victims and protection lead me? Where is this going? 

Bewilder

For someone who doesnt actually do all that much, i find the attention I recieve rather bewildering. I just need to rejigger my priorities, clear memory, focus. Quieter life is nice.

Pill talk

So, I got caught up in the pills talk and the pressure. I can't do that again. Stay away from the pills. I'm serious. As few as possible. 

Forgiveness

So back to forgiveness, I think if everyone just cuts each other a break, minds their business, it's quite possible. That does mean respecting privacy, not stealing, not threatening. Not lying to people's faces. Maybe less gossip. Less intimidation and God complex stuff.

Embarrassing...

So its kinda embarrassing but this is my life. I need to find my hammer and see if the futon is repairable or junk. Writing to do, house to maintain, it to fix, taxes to file. Exercise. Maybe improve recall. Spend more time in kitchen. Less time planning legal action. More important things. More fiction. Less advocating. Advocating tiring. Maybe someday I'll take one of those CCTP tests. Put my psychology to use. So many tests. Taxes gets old though. I hope public health is learning. 

Blah blah...

Some people, you can tell them the truth 20 different ways and all they hear is blah blah you're right. I agree. Let's do it your way. So now I just tell the whole world my lies and delusions and I let them judge. If thousands of people verify my words every month, the truth will come out. I'll be safe. The BS will stop. We can all sit down.

Nervous

Anyways, this talk of protecting people and victims makes me nervous. Then arson says studied... and I thought, well why not. Let them study. Let them decide. I'm not the one talking about victims and protecting someone regarding pills. So now I Let the fbi and people decide. And hopefully I can stay in my home. I'm tired of this.

Retaliation

Anyways, after Ccbh... harassing phone calls, some doctors being inappropriate. There was just one I recognized. And I can't quite be 100% sure. But I believe it was the one to one that was there when they told me to kill myself. So now the fbi stands in-between. with public health. so we can calm the waters... sort this out. not threaten each other anymore.

Antagonize

See, I'm not actually trying to antagonize anyone. I'm shutting down some BS. That's all. Keeping people safe. Certain people in the community are concerned. I know they'll back me up. At City Center. Springbrook. IMA. Even MIP. So that's what I'm doing. In my own way. We're helping each other. And Public Health too. I know my friend. I know the type of person she is. And she will hold the line with the rest. I just mind my own business. Lower my anger. Try to refocus. Writing to do. Gotta new printer coming. the old one went nuts. Then I can do taxes. Take care of home. Maybe go out more. Once people get with the program. Find something else to talk about.

Trauma

I'm far from an exception. Many people have trauma. They just don't talk about it. I talk about mine to shut down the bullshit. I got a lot of pushback. But the messages appear to be filtering through. Male, female, race, money, it doesn’t matter. Life finds you. So i keep harping till people get the message. Even if that requires FBI looking up my ass. Cuz I get tired. They may own everything, but they don't own me. So I'll just continue my little crusade. As long as it takes to shut these doctors up. To me, somethings are wrong no matter how well you hide them or dress them up. I'm glad I fired my ent. He obviously didn't work for me. 

It'd be easier to be nice to doctors if they got off thier high horses and demonstrated some comprehension. Spidey gets frustrated. If they could add autism and childhood factors together, it's really not that hard. Throw in 90s era toxic bullshit and med complications and bingo. I know people of my generation get it. It's not that hard. I have a couple of hospitals and a doctor's office to sue. And if there are other victims, its on them to come forward. It's on public health to deal with this circus and cover-up. But I hear a word from those doctors, I'll be filing reports. Sick of protecting people who don't give a shit. They just whine about being nice to them and look for excuses. Pissed off the wrong human. Dont worry though, there's records and witnesses. Doesn't matter what I say. I can't protect you even if I wanted to. I mean, it would be difficult.

The Mindless...

Vlad. They're wandering into traffic again. Get Flappy. 

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