I Watch the Night

I am the Watcher. I watch the night.

And when it’s not looking, I chase the light.

- ShadowsNdust

And so I came to fear this night that was falling across all of my life. I still had more questions then answers. Why was this happening? Why me? Why was it getting worse? Was there a way to stop it? If couldn’t stop it, where would this all end?

When the night strikes, there is no concept of innocense. When the night strikes, it destroys things. Nothing is more powerful then the night. But I quickly came to realize that I was the only one who could blunt its blows. I was the only one who could contain it. So I watch the Night, every minute of every hour.

The Night is relentless. The danger is constant. So I must be vigilant. I must be ready when the night strikes. And maybe, over the next horizon, dawn awaits…

Light!

Cascading down in a stream so luminous that one cannot fathom darkness, so clear that you cannot imagine haze. The sun, rising in the morning, slowly, silently, the massive sphere climbing up into the sky. Beautiful beyond all appreciation, with rays of energy that could blind, incite, and most importantly, give life. The magnificent orb stands as a bulwark against the Night.

Yet unlike the sun we are bound to the dirt. We take for granted that though the sun may set, it will come back to us again each morning. We aspire to the greatness and majesty of the sun, the stars, the vast expanses that few have even skirted, and almost all will only know by looking up into the heavens. We fear not the darkness, for the dawn is never far.

But what if dawn doesn't come? What if the Night can keep you, over all protestation? What if the darkness persists, and that dawn never comes?

Then everything changes. In little more then an instant you become a ghost in the shadows, a handful of dust. You will see the people around you, but somehow be as far away from them as the earth to the sun. The world around you loses its allure. You hide in shadows, praying for the light but clinging to the Night. You will stand alone. But above all, you will learn the Night. You will stand in the darkness watching the Night... knowing that it could destroy you or everything you hold dear. When you truly know the Night, you know the danger is real. You become vigilant beyond all reason. You learn the things that they don't teach you out beyond the shadows. And, yes, it changes you, though you likely would deny it.

I can remember when I first slipped into the shadows....

©️ 2022, Accountec, LLC©️ 2024, Accountec, LLC

The Caves

 

I lost my way back in my youth

My hard sought honor withering before the truth

This path I walked, I walked alone. 

This world a harder place then I had known.

I hated the witheredd silence

They sent me away from both family and friend

In all those days that I was apart

Drugs saved my life but broke my heart.

I pleaded with God to help me come back

Prayers and hopes that I will not retract.

Every day I asked him this

Steady the way to recovering what was missed

I claim these caverns as mine alone. 

My gentle soul sheltered within the stone.

Whenever I seek shelter from the storm.

I close my eyes and come back home.

She has an entire cavern of her own

The Muse I haunted all alone

Her laughter still lights up my heart

I do not care about this story

I find in this no pride nor glory

I pay my penance in restless discord

Then the quiet comes to put away the sword.

Rays of light cut through the maw

And play the memories of what I saw

I am myself, a simple and sad one

Now I must account for what I have - or haven't - done.

What business have you here I say???

The Nest

 Somehow I have failed again. I didn't see this coming. I saw the signs, but he had promised, time after time, that we would figure it out together, that he would be there when I needed him. Then he disappeared, and I still wanted to believe,  even after all the hard words, the disdain and accusations, the lies, the unethical conduct, the experiments, the deflection of blame, the self glorification...

 We tried. You know we did. We gave heart and soul to that man. He said he was like our father and we were like his son. Then he decided to let us die.

I was telling you. You didn't listen. you were letting him hurt us, gaslight us, try to destroy us. Cover up his tracks. The unreturned calls? The pharmacy in the dark? the team caught off guard? The nurse disappearing, he stopped talking to us like a doctor. He talked like a lawyer, and used that sugary, pretend reasonable tone with others, to gaslight them too, and some still don't see it.

 You're going to make everyone upset. Stop talking. We just got him sleeping better.

 We have to get help. We're vulnerable. We go to the wrong person and they'll just say we're crazy. Crazier then actual dangerous people. And keep Shadow away from the doors. He's too upset. Like a caged animal almost. It's so hard to talk to him.

 Our fire has never failed us. The Night will not find us there, it only sees in shadows.

 Let's review the list. Internist, PA, Sleep Center, infusion center, 

 Don't forget the silent ones. They speak truth, if allowed.

 All this thinking makes me thirsty. 

 Now you done it. He's back.

 Spidey no like noise. Makes me webby. 

Desperately thirsty.

Go be thirsty somewhere else.

You're not helping.

 Welcome to my life.

 Less talking, more doing.

Whispering Winds

Destination Unknown

It’s stormy weather

And the ship is rolling on the waves.

Rally, my crew, and listen to this:

This is your captain speaking.

If I could change anything.

Don’t you think things would be different?

Believe that, if nothing else.

I know you can’t believe in me.

It’s a sorry state that’s come to pass.

Hope be damned, I know my place.

Ahoy there! Hoist the Jolly Roger!

We are the worst brand of Pirates.

We steal hopes and dreams

And instill a wrenching terror.

We take no prisoners.

The sun will not shed on us a glitter or a gleam.

This damn crew is ill trained and weak.

Always on the edge of mutiny

Always rolling in defeat.

Hold fast, my crew, hold fast.

There’s battles we must engage

Back off, you fools, back off

I’ll take you all by sword!

Hold fast, my crew there’s rough seas ahead

And the ship will sink if the captain is dead.

I wish I could change the past.

It’s all I can think about.

Somethings are meant to die, I guess.

I raided your ship brutally

I thought I’d end up rich;

Now I pay the price instead.

All the merchants avoid my ship

And the wind fills not my sail

Maybe you’ll have to accept me the way I am

Maybe we’ll never rendezvous again

Maybe you’ll hear me this last time.

I’m sorry, my friend I’m sorry

I’m lost and death is eager to reach for the shroud

But steadfast my crew, stead fast

We’ll sail this ship regardless

And we’ll reach some sorry of destination

Destination unknown, destination none the less.

©️ 2025, Accountec, LLC

My Clothes

Talk to me.

Talk to me.

Where do you go when I’m not looking?

Maybe to the sky…

Well, I’m here on the earth

I just want my clothes.

I wanna dress up in Gold and silver,

Pretend I’m an angel

That sort of thing.

I’ll hide behind my clothes.

Maybe when you look at me

You won’t be able to see me

But for the light shining off my silver.

Where are my clothes?

I sew them out of invisible fiber

Creating something from nothingness.

I miss my clothes!

I don’t want to lose them

Because I need them.

How can you see through my clothes?

See me inside?

Now I have to hide in the night from you.

And I don’t like the dark.

Orion

Walk with me through the storm

Talk with me as we go along

Watch the wind

And watch the rain

And carefully I shall explain

Explain the future.

 

The stars are beautiful

I walk along the beaches

And it seems like this moment could never end.

 

Orion, where are you

I see you in the stars

I wish I could be up there too

But I am here on earth.

Run away, never again

I just need patience now

Because it’s only a matter of time

And then I will recover

The flowers are so beautiful

I never want to lose them

They need someone to water them

How could I just pick up and go

Knowing that would rip them up?

©️ 2024, Accountec, LLC