Just a Matter of Time... No drug for this...

 

Ferlauto Family

Greenville Psychiatry

Fowler's Pharmacy

Cleaning up my professionals... One at a time...

I feel like we're coming to that "victims come forward" moment. Since, as far as I can tell, we're all good and pissed off. I can't be the only one. They called him the "magic maker". Long before it went sour, he complained to me that the state was giving him trouble over CONTROLLED SUBSTANCES. HELLO? ANYONE HOME? DEA ANYWHERE? JUST WONDERING. Great job guys. Really. We appreciate it. 

Family for Medically Complex Children, In Cooperation with Greenville Psychiatropy

There's something rotten in the state of South Carolina.

The Dissociation formerly known as Robert, F'dhD. And everyone fucking knows already, so get over yourselves.

By Proxy

    Even without fancy names for problems like DID, Munchhausen's byproxy, boundaries, and seizures, my family will one day have to either acknowledge that what they did was wrong or they will not be in my life. It's just not possible. If they cannot respect my wellbeing, then I cannot be around them. So I'll just wait to hear from them on whether or not I can trust them to be in my life. In the meantime, I have my new healthcare team that they can't manipulate and my friends. I found my people. I just need time to further regulate my emotions and assess my cognitive limitations. With my oldest sister as next of kin. I can't figure out everything. What I do know is that the upstate health care system is rather sick of my family. And that's sad. It doesn't make sense. But I'm sure those people who are willing to change their ways can be forgiven. They have to make that choice, and live it out. As I am making mine. So with that, DID would like to thank its sponsors again...

DID would like to thank the following:

K.J. Hartwick

G Jones

PRISMA... since it's not GHS anymore. 

Mindful Upstate

IMA

Springbrook

MIP (excluding some of the old guard)

Austen Riggs Center

City Center

Mindwell

Beth Israel Deaconess

SC Governor

Medical Board

SSA

CrisisLine

DSS

My friends

My oldest sister

My nieces and nephews

Anmed

My current Docs

I still strongly suggest that everyone exercise extreme caution around my biological family and around Woodruff Road. I'm going to go with no opinion on Belmont. Healthcare by proxy. Ain't life a bitch. 

Ennywaze...

Ennywaze, I hope you've enjoyed my crazy. I have to slow down, have better boundaries and take care of myself now. I need to control my anger. Maybe sue a psychiatrist, free of undue influence. Find my own peace. A black widow. That kinda thing. Get rid of these Munchhausen like, bipolarized psychociations. I'm going to keep working on improving my recall, socializing, and try to write some fiction. Just exercise caution around Italians and also around woodruff road.

Thanks

Memory Cohesion Study (NIH)

"Collective memory is inherently selective (Rajaram and Pereira-Pasarin, 2010; Hirst and Echterhoff, 2012). When people recall the past some details are retrieved while other fail to enter into conversation. The consequence of those items not retrieved has become of increasing interest in understanding how distinct memories become increasingly similar across individuals."

    So, if person A remembers his childhood one way but is too close to B, C and D, He may have trouble remembering his childhood because the group creates a myth of what his life was like, when it really was nothing like that. They may have a narrative for who he is and what he does, even down to dictating where he lives, who his health care providers are, what his DX is, what his meds are, What his treatment plan is, he'll have no privacy and no respect and no life, but it'll look medically perfect until the strain breaks the system. Which may be why so many medical professionals believe that my family is harmful to my wellbeing. Maybe. 

    I suppose that could change. 

Thing is, every time i talk to them they're indocrinating me. Which is why we don't talk. Because its not real. They don't actually know me. I'm definitely not whoever they say I am. Im just some disabled guy. Who tried too hard. Now his liver is half shot, he cant recall, his life is empty, and he has trouble with routines and sequences of tasks. I need someone to know the real me. That's why I firewalled "my women" and the PA. So I can remember and not burn out. 

So, to use my social worker skill, hopefully my FAMILIES will keep thier noses out of my life, MIND THIER OWN BUSINESS, and stop being so incredibly CONTROLLING. It's been incredibly unhelpful. Multistate clusterfuck unhelpful.

Memory Cohesion Study

I've been reading a research paper on memory cohesion, but among individuals in a community.

Memory Cohesion Study

Small

 

The Break In

    Ok, ebbyone? let's find di way. Now, di doors are locked here, here, end here. We could sidle around back and take the fence from the North side, but there's cameras so that wouldn't last long. AHA! Ebbybuddy likes Pizza. Ashes will take twee for deliberry. Eddie will run circles in front ob di unit to diswact security. 

    We'll need pebbles. And a soccer ball. A few pairs ob maroon scrubs. Jess will be depressed. Jenn will come up wit di story. 8 will keep di car running. Ashes will find Arson, Arson will be too distwacted to notice Vlad sneaking Small to IMU. Den, Kenzi will let us out into di yard and we climb di fence. Once Small is secure, Jess will feel bedder and we'll all go home.

Plan

Spidey hab it all pigured out. Now, just need to break into di castle, pind di pwincess doctor, and conbince her to jump di fence wit Spidey. Vlad will fwy air cubber.

Small

Your Faborite Arachnid

Dis is your faborite Arachnid again! A small shout out to Dr. Small and di gang... Serbin di Fiercest since 1969!

Piccola

Piccola,

Ho solo bisogno di qualcuno che mi capisca. Qualcuno che possa tenermi sulla giusta via. Qualcuno pieno di vita. Sono stanco di farmi sopraffare. È un mondo difficile da capire.

Ceneri

Piccola

 Caro Piccola,

    Non sei mai uscito dalla mia mente. Ho avuto problemi a trovare qualcuno abbastanza strano da capirmi.

    Non riesco a liberarmi di questi psicologi, però. Forse puoi capirlo. Credo di avere paura. Per così tante ragioni. Sono al verde, ho una reputazione e tu sei davvero bella.

    Non ho esattamente colpito tutte le note giuste ultimamente. Quando ero più giovane, abbiamo visitato Capri... c'erano le grotte... io le visitavo nella mia mente. Volevo portarti lì.

Tuo,

Ceneri

Small

Dear Small,

    How's the unit doing? Tell me, what do you do when you're not analyzing? You seemed a little overwhelmed. Do you like Arson's humor? The story about the turkey was pretty good. A good nerd story.

    I'm a nerd myself actually. What do you read? I'll have to write you a poem. Maybe throw in some of the stuff Red liked. You should meet Tigre. He's a good guy. He likes to go play with the neighbor kids.

    You should stick around. The city is nice. I feel a little less crazy when you're around. Do you like hugs? Tell Elle I said hi. Don't get sick now.

Ashes

"Pilling In The Name"

Pilling in the name of

Some of those that take courses, are the same that accrue losses

Huh!

Pilling in the name of

Pilling in the name of

But now you do what Grey told ya

Well now you do what Grey told ya

Those who died are justified, for wearing the coat, they're the chosen whites

You justify those that died by wearing the coat, they're the chosen whites

Those who died are justified, for wearing the coat, they're the chosen whites

You justify those that died by wearing the coat, they're the chosen whites

Some of those that take courses, are the same that accrue losses

Uggh!

Pilling in the name of

Pilling in the name of

And now you do what Grey told ya

And now you do what Grey told ya, now you're under control

And now you do what Grey told ya!

Those who died are justified, for wearing the coat, they're the chosen whites

You justify those that died by wearing the coat, they're the chosen whites

Those who died are justified, for wearing the coat, they're the chosen whites

You justify those that died by wearing the coat, they're the chosen whites

Come on!

Yeah! Come on!

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me

Motherfucker!

Uggh!