Hospital

     I need to stop focusing on the hospital. The hospital is not a person. It does not know me. It is a bureaucracy. That is by definition its nature. It has not spent long hours with me as my counselor has. Its opinion on my health as far as that opinion contradicts my counselor is worth exactly jack shit. Why I insist on trying to get these people to understand makes absolutely ZERO sense. They don't have the time or resources to spend to figure that out. Definitely not on government insurance. 

    In that way I can be kind to the people there. By recognizing the reality of their limitations as an organization. It's not realistic to expect them to understand. It's just the legal and jail threats that to me are completely unacceptable. The rumors, gossip, and bullshit that they circulate is completely unacceptable to me. To me it is targeting and harassment of its own. 

    So I guess we're even. I contacted a nurse outside the hospital, they circle bullshit about me and make bullshit threats. So we're even. 

    I guess what upsets me most is that I don't shut down the bullshit. And that's on me. We need to be honest and clear with each other.