Dear Leaves,

    It's been a while. I hope everything is going well at the center. Sorry about the whole mess with the termination. I really appreciate what you and Gryps did for me. I know it was rough. I'll never forget those days. They changed the way I looked at the world. Molly is doing a good job. No worries here beyond the day to day. I feel more in control of my destiny, though emotional regulation and people skills are still a work in progress. I really admire the work you did. It took a lot of courage. I struggled so intensely, but we were strong together. I kept you safe from the darkness. It was hard. But I held it back as best I could. 

Yours,

Ashes

 

And for my next twick! I will make my internist reappear! <cough cough> ... ??? <COUGH COUGH> POOF! Der she is!

Meghan

 

Dear Meghan

Dear Meghan,

Gauze is white

My Internist is too

My ears feel better

A warm thank you.

Ashes

Social

     One of these days I'm going to learn how to be social better. I swear I don't know how to react to people in real time. I don't actually know what they want. I wish I could say different. But the psychiatrists get tired. And I've collected too many Dx's. That and clozaril not working out was why I got the counselor in the first place. I can't keep track of all of this without her.

 

Ebbybuddy loves Spidey... ebben when he ain't tidy... when he gets to play cupid, den he starts to look stupid, but ebbybuddy love spidey....

 Less angry, more metaphors... less angry, more metaphors...

Spidey gets tired ob being a loan...

Ebby now and den MIP tries to reposess me.

Bills to Pay

 

Dear Elle,

    The bills, they just add up. It's a struggle to hold a job. There are angry, hateful people in this world. It's hard to know what to do about that. Life gets complicated. I can't find enough metaphors. I don't have all the answers. They act like I should. I don't know how to talk to people. I thought I did. I really did. Sometimes I wish the world didn't need words. I know I missed the boat on simple. The cat understands. He goes out to visit his friends every day, but he always comes back. Sometimes I wish for the days when people wrote letters. I had the story in my head, but it keeps getting pushed out. Maybe someday I'll find those metaphors. I'll keep looking. You weren't there to keep me safe. 

Ashes

 

"Oh great, he wants to be studied"

     I know Arson pretty well. I'm pretty sure I know why he said that. I'm not so great at communicating in person. I know some members of the mental health community check this blog. Sometimes it's awkward. But overall, I'm glad. It's like having people watching over me. I worry what people think. Sometimes they jump to conclusions. But a reasonable person, taking what I say in whole, gets a pretty decent picture. My BP was initially 154 or so over 94 at the internist. Then it was 124 over 70 something. It jumps up and down in health care facilities. Does that all the time. But it's nice to be home. 

DI/LO, the Name Fits!

 

"Excuse me, where can I find your bottles of blood??"

How I love a glass of A- in the evening...

 

Then there was the time the flies decided to form a union... lemme tell ya, it didn't go gweat.

 

Vhy do you keep crawling towards Memorial!?!?

 

Funny how putting the past behind...

 works for all of about ten seconds.