Frustration

     I know that there are frustrated people out there. They see someone who apparently had so much help, so many hospitals and counselors and psychiatrists and other people... I know my school didn't want this. That's why I know that there are so very many people that want to see a happy ending, not just me. That's why I'm stubborn about this. I have to see this through. Hopefully, that new job will give me a few hours. I could use the money. But I have to be patient. I have to go slow so that the doctor and the counselor can be sure that I can keep up. 

    I feel like I'm getting psychological whiplash from all this mental manipulation. Getting tired of being told who I am and what I need. I want to see it in action. I want to see the results of all this work. I want to see the medication and the counseling bringing real world results. Not just demonization and rumors. 

    So I'm waiting to hear from the job. Adsense is still a no, try again. I'm told I need to make sure that I'm setting the proper boundaries and giving myself time and space. I know that taking a job that I'm not prepared for is all kinds of stupid. But hopefully, this has one of those happy endings.