Pillars

I'm feeling some relief. I've recieved the neccessary reassurances from the PA and the LPC. Whatever MIP does or does not know about me will become clear from those 600 pages, if not from that then from CCBH's records, the internist's records, the records from City Center Counseling, or from the work I do with the PA, the internist, and the LPC. Or perhaps from Springbrooks records, or the ER records... The LPC's office has consulted an independent psychiatrist as well. The PA and LPC are in lockstep, and I revoked all authorizations for PRISMA to discuss me with anyone without express permission. My medical care has been firewalled. Anyone who interferes with my medical care does so at thier own risk. Gateway knows, CCBH knows, city center knows, mip knows, Mindful upstate knows, SCDHEC knows, Vinewell knows, PRISMA knows, the internist knows, DSS is a phone call or click away, the local police are too. Even the Governor knows. So regardless of what anyone does or does not know, whatever these diagnoses mean, I truly will be ok. Given that I was flagged for a Social Determinates of Harm screening years ago by the old internist, whatever is or is not true about me has popped up on almost every radar across this state. I'm being watched. But these people are trying to help me. Anyone who stands in thier way will be noticed, flagged, and potentially tracked. Abuse has to be reported. Threats have to be reported. Every licensed medical professional has that obligation. Every social worker, every counselor, every hospital, every police officer. So regardless of what the truth is, so long as i follow medical instructions, there is no danger. And I'm home now. Where i can do that.

Shameless Promotion (Groceries)

 I divided my favorites list on Walmart+

Self Care

   Lightweight low dust litter tidy cat

   Friskies cat food

   Baking soda

   Hypoallergenic soap

   Irish spring

   old spice

   Axe body spray

   Laundry detergent with oxi

   Nasogel sinus moisturizer

   Crest Mult symptom alcohol free mouthwash

   Dish pods

   Dr Teals magnesium or lemon probiotic

   Multivitamin

   Hart corded earplugs with carrying case

   Loop noise canceling plugs

   Scope mouthwash, alcohol free

   Purple fluoride wash on occasion (dry mouth)

   Epsom salt

   Body Oil

Freezer

    Frozen fruits for smoothies

    Frozen fresh veggies

    Blue Bell ice cream

Pantry

   Pepperidge Oatmeal Bread

   Chamomile tea, probiotic tea

   Ginger ale

   Rao's homemade Bolognese sauce

   Whole wheat spaghetti and pasta

   Grated Parmesean cheese

   Vodka sauce

   Whole wheat bread

   16 grain bread

   Canned soups with veggies/beans

   Chicken bullion cubes

   Peanut butter with the "natural, label (brown)

   Olive oil... I keep canola and some butter j.i.c.

   Blue diamond almonds

   Medjool dates

   Pringles

   Stevia or agave

   Vodka sauce

   Electrolyte mix for water

   Orgain plant protein or generic

   Instant coffee, espresso beans

   Nutella

Refrigerator

   Greek Vanilla Yogurt

   Greek Plain Yogurt

   Eggs

   Lunch Meat

   2%, 1 Gallon

   Rotisserie Chicken, chilled

   BetterGoods Oatmilk Coffee Creamer

   President Crumbled Feta

   Hillshire Farms Ham Lunch Meat

   Block of cheddar

Meats

   Rotisserie Chicken

   Top sirlion or London Broil <Limited

   Center Cut pork chops

   Lamb Shoulder Chops <Rare

   Lamb Shank <Never tried

Fresh Fruit / Veggies 

   Baby carrots

   Baby Bella mushrooms

   Mangoes

   Bananas

   Red onions

   Black grapes, or red

   Spring lettuce (red head, sometimes boston)

   Cantaloupe 

   Cosmic Crisp Apples

   Sweet potatoes

   Kale

   Beets

   Ginger root

You can't get alcohol (beer, fruity wine, rum), but I do leave a tip. I like the substitution system for low stock items. They have incense. Gum. It's not as high end as prime. Shipping is less reliable. Plenty of choices though. Easy returns. Signature by pass code. Gift delivery available.

Ten Pounds

 Well, I thought I'd check the score...

McClean... 2 (over one year behind locked doors in dark spaces with no tv, nothing to do, never even going outside the building... not even once)

Springbrook ... 2

CCBH ... The infamous 1

Lost'n Rigged... 1 (roughly 1 year)

MIP... at least 3 as a teen, 3 in 20s, 3 in 30s, and 3 in the past year... at least 12 total inpatient visits plus 1 IOP and at least 3 Partial hospitalizations.

Heard from the LPC. Seems that MIP did some homework. They faxed the hospital records for stay number 12ish, but they went above and beyond. They decided to do some digging... the printer got busy... 100... 200... 300... 400... 500...

600 pages of documents in the mail. We killed a few trees. About 10 pounds. I'd like to be a little less interesting. I got curious. On the internet it says the average printed page has 250-300 words on a page. 250-300 = average of 275. So one hospital had roughly 165,000 words of history to say. I once referred to it as a third home. It wasn't a joke.

Then they wonder why I need disability. 

DXes tried on for size... 2 Bipolars, 3 depressions, 1 "non specified psychosis" (thank you CCBH and SSA), 1 GAD, 1 "OCD like behavior", 2 dissociative disorders, an aspergers, an autism spectrum, an Auditory processing, a ADHD, a sleep apnea, an adjustment disorder, dysgraphia, and a half dozen physical problems... at least 23 different disorders used as working dxs, with at least 12 independently confirmed. I've retired from medicine. 

2 comas. Memorial and Beth Israel Deaconess.

3 near death experiences including dialysis and CDC involvement.

So we talked about anger. Anger and I are good friends. It knows my mind, my heart,  and through Clozaril it knows my liver.

DID Roles, Part 2

 I got a little off track. DID Roles. I figured them out. 

Child

Communicator

    Psychology

    Childhood

    Running, physical and mental

Gatekeeper

    Guitar

    Teens

    Law, right and wrong

Helper

    Crisisline

    Young Adult

Solver

    Accounting

    IT

    Adult

Going on with Life / Continuing

    Adult

    Lives normal life. Cooks. Schedules.

Protector

    Wrestling

    Physical tasks

Unitary

    The Destination or Master

    Created in Counseling by a Non-Psychiatrist who's not addicted to Bullshit and Psychosis

All associated with different times, thoughts, functions, day to day skills, memories, people, trauma triggers.