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Thursday, June 5, 2025

Dark


Spidey a liddle dark. Di sun rising doh...

Thank you for Tuning in to DarknessUntilDawn...


A warm shout out to the Good Eggs... the ones with Common Sense. 

M.issed I.n P.art



"Another head hangs lowly
Child is slowly taken
And the violence caused such silence
Who are we mistaken?"

But you see it's not we
It's not MY... prismaly
In my head, tears are shed
They are FIGHTING
With their PILLS and their PADS
And look now, we're depressed!
With our meds, With our meds
They are cryin'

In ERs, ICUs...
Can you see... ??
What's in your meds??? in your meds???
Zombies?

Another brother breakin'
Docs are taking over
When the violence causes SILENCE
We must be mistaken.

It's the same ICU
Since I last came to you.
In my head, hospital beds
They're still fightin'!
With their pills and their tests
And their ECTs, less and less

They are TRYIN'

In my head... hospital beds
Zombie, zombie, zombie, hey, hey
What's in your head, in your head
Zombie, zombie, zombie, hey, hey, hey
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Hey, oh, ya, ya-a

 

25 years since that first coma in the ICU.

George




Enmeshment, in a psychological context, refers to a blurring of boundaries between people, often family members, leading to over-dependence and a lack of individuality. This can result in difficulties with autonomy and independence, impacting family dynamics and relationships. 

Key aspects of enmeshment:

Blurred Boundaries:

Enmeshed relationships lack clear personal boundaries, making it difficult for individuals to distinguish their own needs, feelings, and boundaries from those of others. 

Over-involvement:

Family members become overly involved in each other's lives, often to the detriment of their own autonomy and personal development. 

Lack of Autonomy:

Enmeshment can lead to a loss of individual identity and the inability to make independent decisions or pursue personal interests. 

Over-dependence:

Individuals in enmeshed relationships may become overly dependent on others for emotional support, validation, or guidance

Examples:

A parent who constantly interferes with their child's decisions, a child who feels they must always make their parents happy, or family members who feel responsible for each other's happiness and well-being

Taxes



Almost ready to mail taxes. I overpaid. Rather ridiculously. I have 3 pieces of furniture to assemble. Some picking up to do. Father's day is coming up. Thank God. Am I right?

Countertransference: see munchousensbyproxy, did, stockholm syndrome

    Countertransference is an unconscious effect in mental health relationships, and neither the clinician nor the client realizes it is happening. It serves as an important reminder that mental health professionals are human too, with their own biases, history, and emotions that can influence their thoughts and reactions to clients.

    In a mental health session, a client might remind the professional of someone or something from their past or present. Consequently, the clinician might unconsciously treat the client in an emotionally charged or biased manner. Clinicians must be aware of countertransference at all times and actively work to acknowledge and manage it in their practice. Countertransference in mental health refers to the emotional reactions, biases, or perceptions a professional may have towards a client, influenced by the professional's personal experiences, unconscious feelings, or issues. It can affect the therapeutic relationship and treatment process.

    Countertransference is a professional's reaction and feelings toward a client in therapy. It contrasts with transference, which is a client’s emotional reaction to their professional. Countertransference is a common, unconscious phenomenon that can negatively impact the therapeutic relationship if not properly addressed. Freud first identified countertransference as a detriment to an analyst’s understanding of their patient. Today, it is viewed with both negative and positive associations in psychology.

    Countertransference occurs when a professional brings in their own experiences to the extent that they lose perspective on the client’s situation and stop being objective. It can manifest when the professional over-identifies with the client’s stories and shares too much about themselves, offers excessive advice instead of listening to the client, pushes the client to act before they are ready, seeks to relate outside the therapy room, inappropriately discloses personal information, develops romantic feelings for the client, lacks adequate boundaries, or is overly critical or supportive of the client.

    If countertransference is the emotional reaction a professional might have towards their client, then transference is the opposite: a client’s emotional reaction to their professional. Transference is a psychological phenomenon where a client redirects feelings for someone from their past or present onto the clinician, which can include feelings towards a family member, friend, or significant other. Like countertransference, this phenomenon is mostly unconscious, and the client is likely unaware of its influence. Unlike countertransference, transference in therapy is accepted. Professionals can use transference as a tool to better understand their client’s personal relationships and emotions. Countertransference can be seen as the clinician’s response to a client’s transference. However, while transference is a normal and accepted part of the therapeutic process, clinicians must monitor their countertransference to remain objective and avoid harming the client.

    In subjective countertransference, the therapist’s own unresolved issues are the cause. In other words, experience from the therapist’s own history is re-experienced in response to their client.

    An example of this includes a therapist who fears anger due to a family history of aggression, so they discourage any expression of anger from their client. This subjective form of countertransference can be harmful if not detected.

    In objective countertransference, the professional's reaction to their client’s maladaptive behaviors is the cause. Maladaptive behaviors are behaviors that inhibit one’s ability to healthy cope or adjust to certain situations. Most people would have the same reaction to this person; thus, the professional's reaction is “objective.”

    Unlike subjective countertransference, objective countertransference can actually benefit the therapeutic process. For instance, if the professional can accept and study this objective reaction they have to their client, they can use this countertransference as an analytical tool.

    Positive countertransference occurs when a professional becomes overly supportive of their client. Signs include trying too hard to befriend the client, disclosing too much personal information, or over-identifying with the client’s experiences. This can harm the therapeutic relationship by diminishing professional boundaries and preventing the professional from treating the client objectively. Importantly, some psychologists believe this positive form of countertransference can have beneficial outcomes by improving the professional-client relationship.

    Negative countertransference occurs when a professional reacts negatively to uncomfortable feelings. This includes being overly critical, punishing, rejecting, or disapproving of the client. It is also evident when the professional feels bored, irked, paralyzed, or contemptuous during therapy with a particular client. Negative countertransference is especially problematic as it can harm the client’s psyche and cause therapy to do more harm than good.

Wednesday, June 4, 2025

Health

Dear Members of the Community,

    Please stop analyzing my health and personal habits. It's wearing me out. It's counterproductive. If you ever want me to stop living in hospitals and doctors' offices, you'll stop asking. Driving me to drink with this shit. Seriously, I'm not a science experiment. I swear to God on one side I've got the medicalization crowd that wants to hyper analyze every perceived fault and on the other the bullshit crowd that knows it's all a load of internalized crap dressed up as DX's. It makes no sense.


Thank you,


Ashes

Plan

I've been asked what the plan is a lot. You may not be familiar with how serious "medically complex" or DID are. It's not exactly hospice, but prognosis isn't great. Permanent disability. Not a normal life. Maybe I'll have a relationship, maybe not. We all gotta die someday. Maybe it will get better. But as the book title says, the body keeps the score. Pretty clear I lost. So, I have to conserve my energy. I may look ok. I promise you; I am not. One too many falls, and all the king's horses and all the king's men... I was trying to work. I'm told that's not realistic. So, I'll try to write. Maybe something will change. Maybe not. I'll let the kids have their turn. Broken mind. Not evil, just broken. Yeah, it's dark. It is what it is. Too tired to fight. You know, I think I'll have one of those parties' people sometimes have when they become terminal. I'd like the process to be happy... ish. Too much medical manipulation. I need to take time to understand this better. It's not that I'm dying anytime soon... but it's coming. Somethings only God can control. It's easier to tell everyone at once, rather than one at a time.

OK, maybe it's not quite that bad. But some people don't know how to mind their own business. They're too busy shaming and manipulating lesser mortals. One of these days I'll rediscover the meaning of "right to privacy". I don't understand why MIP engages with categorizing and demonizing people to such an extreme. Medicalized perfectionism.

Past Reflections