Sensations

   Head and face still hurt at times. Energy seems more stable but still low. I'm just glad I'm relating to people better now. A little less intense. Still convinced that clozapine, minipress, gabapentin, stimulants, mirapex... these drugs are dangerous. I was mislead. Especially about minipress. 

   I understand that people are just worried. But if the hospital feels the need to post security, that catches my attention. But the team doesn’t seem worried. The female ones. Not too worried. I do think those drugs did something to my mind. Evidence, they say. But I think that they're right. The records and experts know. It doesnt matter what I say. So thats a relief. Today I need to try to get more housework done. I've been distracted by the medical. But my mood is brighter. My women seem confident.

Summertime Sadness

Not feeling like self

    Angry's not feeling like himself. He's been struck by a strange feeling of increased calm. Hallucinating less. Angry is feeling less angry. He's misplaced his rage. He's hoping not to find it.

Munchausen Byproxy

Come to think of it, when a healthcare professional said my parents were harmful, that person was right. Pushing medical care i did not want or need. Munchausen Byproxy. Not that I've been diagnosed. But it has similarities. I've seen it with other people. Keep in mind this is from the perspective of a traumatized and improperly medicated person. My perspective is thus biased. I've had a difficult time. 

Esketamine

 

Landed me in the ER

K

 

Under the Reign of... a few Health Departments...

 

Argue

 

I do remember arguing. Family members. Providers. Hospitals. Arguing. Arguing over my care. 

Strange thing to argue about.

Atlanta said No.

Massachusetts took the Clozaril and ran with it.

I hate that drug.

Charleston and Anderson chipped in some rTMS.

Memorial went all in with VNS.

Springbrook was like wha?