Medicine

    I feel like what I'm learning about medicine is that it is fast paced. The workers don't necessarily have the time or the patience to help, especially with autism, especially with poor communication, especially with symptoms that don't clearly match a defined illness with a defined treatment plan like these bumps that come up on my skin or emotional dysregulation or memory issues. Life isn't that simple and who has time for some disabled guy that's hard to understand and unstable when there are people with jobs and clearly defined problems and good communication. 

    I'm simply not important enough or likeable enough or with problems that are easily resolved, and it's much easier to blame delta 8 or Spravato and say screw the patient let's jail him rather than solve a problem that isn't easily solved. I'm glad my counselor has a different perspective, or I truly would be screwed. Not because they don't want to help, they simply don't know how. And with my lack of sleep and poor boundaries it's not like it's easy. I just struggle to know what to do when my body hurts, I'm tired, I have trouble keeping up, and I literally have trouble remembering and communicating. 

    At least most of the doctors don't threaten me. That's a plus.