Garbage

    I hope the hospital keeps in mind the old saying "Garbage in, Garbage out". If you teach me garbage, then you create garbage out in the community. If you give me garbage, like excessive paperwork or nicotine gum that I did not ask for and is useless to me or garbage referrals that do no good, then you create garbage in the community when I throw it out. I only need so much garbage to get rid of. 

    What I need is help with my executive skills. That's what I NEED right now. Not bullshit opinions or harassment. If they hadn't gone apeshit and made such a freaking mess of last time, maybe this time wouldn't be necessary. Anyways, the insurance went to catastrophic coverage so... there's that. I can't help others unless I can help myself. And I'm trying to help myself. I just don't think I'm getting the right support.

Volly

 

Volly, they are heading back towards Grove. I think they're feeling inpatient.

Hope

    I hope I can trust the hospital. I hope we won't get caught up in threats and garbage referrals to various places. I need to address this brain fog. I just want an opinion. The last hospitalization was a clusterfuck. I think we can do better. 

    It's just weird trying to walk a line trying to please family and community and professionals and I'm really not that important I just need to quietly address a few symptoms. Maybe we can have more open communication and not be looking at each other as if from separate defensive positions. I do hope and pray. 

    I feel like staring off into space isn't really helpful. I must be crazy for going back there. Maybe they can do like a once-a-week IOP. I just don't see myself be able to go there more than once a week. 

Friends

    I do hope that friends from Public Health and the healthcare community check this blog. I hope that they are trying, like me, to understand the effects of taking so much medication. I hope they are not letting rumors or the occasional and legal use of hemp products to distract from the mission, which is to understand what the heck has been going on with my healthcare and how to keep Greenville safe and the healthcare system cost effective.