ANYTHING I OWN

Cults

Things got outta hand, yeah. So, I cleaned the kitchen a bit. Put up some clothes. Cat's looking good. Printer won't cut me a break this time. Drivers seem out of date. I may have to contact them. Edit the forms electronically. Technically, I'm still me, but less entangled. 

I looked up cults, and I found this:

The psychology of cults involves understanding how groups can exert undue influence over individuals, leading to manipulation, control, and potential harm. Cults often exploit vulnerabilities and employ various psychological tactics to break down an individual's sense of self and loyalty, replacing it with a collective identity and devotion to the group and its leader. 

Key Psychological Factors:

Traumatic Narcissism:

Cult leaders often exhibit narcissistic traits, using manipulation, control, and emotional blackmail to establish a bond of dependence with followers. 

Group Cohesion:

Intense group activities, rituals, and a sense of belonging can create a strong group identity, making it difficult for members to question the cult's beliefs and practices. 

Indoctrination:

Cults employ thought-reform techniques, including isolation from external influences, constant exposure to cult ideology, and repetitive rituals, to erode an individual's critical thinking abilities and foster obedience. 

Obedience:

Cults tap into the natural human tendency to obey authority, often exploiting it by rewarding conformity and punishing dissent. 

Abdication Syndrome:

Followers may hand over responsibility for their lives to leaders, believing that the leader possesses all the answers and has their best interests at heart. 

Manipulation:

Cults use a variety of deceptive tactics, including guilt, shame, and fear, to control members and prevent them from leaving. 

Identity Transformation:

Cults often attempt to reshape an individual's identity, replacing their pre-existing values and beliefs with those of the group. 

Mental Health Effects:

The psychological manipulation and control in cults can lead to a range of mental health issues, including anxiety, mood disorders, and substance abuse. 

I definitely was in a cult of doctors. Bipolar was my mantra. CBT and meds were my gospel. Really freaky. I need to think about life choices. Avoid certain people. 

Face Heat

I remember youth. Sometimes my ears would turn red. Parents were like, whats wrong. Took me to internist. The internist had a roundabout way of saying I was embarrassed. Now its face burning. You could say hormones or a chemical or nutrition. Maybe its just anger. People are not, in fact, robots. Emotions are not wrong. Perfection is not to be expected. Relationships go sour. Jobs go sour. Sometimes you need a vacation. Or do that walking away thing. Sometimes, communicating in writing is the best one can hope for. 

Speaking

People are like, don't say this, don't say that. Do this, don't do that. Pick something already? Or maybe just give me my words in advance? Nice guys do finish last. Being strong and being nice don't always work well together. Sometimes you have to make people angry. Sometimes helping people means doing what they don't want you to do, saying what they don't want to hear. And if they don't listen, you walk away or get louder. You don't keep walking down that dead end road. 

Under Maintainance

This Person is under maintenance until anger becomes less of a vocabulary word. I'm simply going in too many directions. I care about the kids. They know that. I'm there from a distance.

At times, it does seem like there are sides. Almost like being split between different interests or groups of people. 

Less is More...

A little less angry...
A little more organized...
Slow but not too slow...
More judicious with honesty...
Maybe just taxes and writing...
A little less driven to distraction...
A little less blame...
A half dozen fewer people with lower morals...

one car washed...

A few clothes to donate...

A few less doctors in my head.

Crabby

Vlad!! STOP AXKING WHERE DI BLOOD STAND IS!

Dat Bat. Nebber a dull moment. Spidey just wanted to go to di beach, ride di wabes, but noooooo... der is he is again. He's behind di udder sand dune. UHOH! He saw Fwed. Di seagulls are patrolling di beaches. Der he goes... he's getting flappy... He's got his SPF 50... now he's flying apter anudder blonde. Dat Bat. 

Spidey likes di sea shells... sun radder bright, doh. 

Uh oh, dey spotted him. He's hiding behind anudder dune. He's covering himself in sunscreen and gull fedders. He's making a break for it! Der's a redhead! Anudder Blonde! Der goes a Brunette! He darts! He Dashes! 

Here's a gween wun. Spidey try on. Go for crawl. Fit rite in wit di cwabs.

Di wabes... di sand...

Maybe Spidey surf. Di shell looks seaworthy.

Where is dat bat... ?

Out of Body Experiences

    I just woke up from a dream. I dreamt that I had gone to MIP from the ER. That I was thinking of suing the hospital. That I was working with the FBI. But its not true. They didn't say we need to ship this guy outta state. They did ship me out of state. I'm back in MA. I'm back at Fort McClean. I'm with Conner. 

But there's a guy down there. His name is Angry. He's having one of those out of body experiences. He's thinking he's working with FBI. He's bitter and a little bit broken. Angry's been around the block a few times. He's hallucinating lawsuits. He stops breathing sometimes. He's lashing out a bit. Angry a little too close. He needs to step back. He's scaring people.