Favorite PC Games List

Ultimate Admiral: Dreadnoughts

Black Ops Games

Elder Scrolls Online

Age of Empires Series (AOM too)

C&C

SWTOR

Call of Duty

Age of Darkness

Tennis Game

Distress Tolerance

Spidey a liddle sensitive. Maybe a liddle more distress tolerance. Everything on a spectrum. Past experience puts people on all the spectrums. 

I think I'm seeing patterns too. Hypersensitivity from childhood chaos. Goes in different directions. Hypermedicalization. 

Multilingual family = Central Auditory Processing Disorder

Academic success oriented =adhd

Toxic masculinity = bipolar 

Failure or guilty conscience = depression 

Not enough time outside = allergies

Too much medical = rebound or chronic inflammation 

Cbt = idealization and unrealistic thinking

Dbt = reality

Eastern medicine = more harmony based, less fixit

Autism = sensory chaos in general

Well, I think MIP was overshooting. I think I need to be delusional on occasion. Otherwise, I check out. 

Trends

Russia has dropped, China disappeared like FBI work, Russia slightly up, Singapore down, and US up.

Past Week

Past 3 months

Rambling

    This is when I need to do my crazy old man thing and ramble. So, if you'll indulge my delusionality, I hear things from time to time. Being concerned as I am. In a slightly fixated way. I'm feeling some resentment. About being pushed. Psychologically. Around. And the egotistical types that do the pushing. But maybe I'm blowing things out of proportion. Yet I want to help people. And I feel like... I've not been able to. I need a lot of space. I need to separate from different groups of people. There are certain things I need to not think about. I can't be on everyone's side at once. I certainly can't defend Prichards to Springbrook. I can't play Springbrook vs mip. And im certainly not finding a new Center or provider to blame. I trusted what artstick was doing. Like leaves and Elle and in a way prichards, she had to go away. Vacations are good. They are. Sometimes people need to go away. Like me from memorial or me from... well Springbrook... and me from mip and me from a lot of people and places. Other people have to go away too. Like divorce and emergencies. I just need to be careful what I say and do. That's all. Like a mental vacation. I gotta take breaks. That's what I need. Slowing down. Simpler. Not sure what to do or how exactly to do it. Going different directions. Not needing too much attention. Mind my own business again. Need to be careful. Too bad artsticks not here. Hard to trust doctors. But they don't trust me either so. We have something in common. But the PA is helping.

    So I need to be delusional now and then. About ER doctors lying. About ERs playing games. About state funded hospitals being dysfunctional. And then public health and the fbi can judge my delusionality. 

Trust

What some people think is funny, I consider serious, and vice versa. People can take things all sorts of ways, so in group settings it's important to be careful what you encourage. That's why I'm concerned about hospitals. Because some providers coming out of those hospitals have done dangerous things. I didn't have the right boundaries. I misplaced trust in some major ways. Maybe people knew less then. Maybe some Psychiatrists simply prefer to ignore established research that they don't understand and don't want to understand. I need to be able to trust. be less angry. And I can't be honest with people that lie to me. I can't protect liars. Or overmedicators.

Plan

    Ok, so here's my idea. That Arson gave me. What we can do is improve the system. Granted, I never worked in audit and my memory isn't totally cohesive, but... If we do this Patch Adams style... keeping in mind the deteriorative effect of trauma on health, we can improve South Carolina Health care. One ego centric doctor at a time.

I just need to be careful...

because I'm narrowing down a list of lawsuits. Against clozapine manufacturers, McClean, the narcissist, and his script happy friend(s). And contemplating the finer points of racketeering. Free of intimidation or extortion. Maybe rambling delusionarily. When I hear of illegal activity. It's just the birds talking. Never you mind.

Allergist

    The allergist's office is funny. Oh they crack me up. The nurse. She's hilarious. She literally quotes the doctor. Quotation marks. Then she lists her degree and her certification. Every time. Like, yes, I do have a Bachelor's degree TYMV. Yes, I do have an RN, thank you very much. No, I don't want to hug you, TYVM. Two ENT recs. Maybe they can figure this deviated septum thing better then Mister Part of the Club. Maybe some medical is necessary. But MIP old guard went on a tear.