Gauze is white
My Internist is too
My ears feel better
A warm thank you.
Ashes
Wednesday, July 2, 2025
Social
One of these days I'm going to learn how to be social better. I swear I don't know how to react to people in real time. I don't actually know what they want. I wish I could say different. But the psychiatrists get tired. And I've collected too many Dx's. That and clozaril not working out was why I got the counselor in the first place. I can't keep track of all of this without her.
Tuesday, July 1, 2025
Bills to Pay
Dear Elle,
The bills, they just add up. It's a struggle to hold a job. There are angry, hateful people in this world. It's hard to know what to do about that. Life gets complicated. I can't find enough metaphors. I don't have all the answers. They act like I should. I don't know how to talk to people. I thought I did. I really did. Sometimes I wish the world didn't need words. I know I missed the boat on simple. The cat understands. He goes out to visit his friends every day, but he always comes back. Sometimes I wish for the days when people wrote letters. I had the story in my head, but it keeps getting pushed out. Maybe someday I'll find those metaphors. I'll keep looking. You weren't there to keep me safe.
Ashes
"Oh great, he wants to be studied"
I know Arson pretty well. I'm pretty sure I know why he said that. I'm not so great at communicating in person. I know some members of the mental health community check this blog. Sometimes it's awkward. But overall, I'm glad. It's like having people watching over me. I worry what people think. Sometimes they jump to conclusions. But a reasonable person, taking what I say in whole, gets a pretty decent picture. My BP was initially 154 or so over 94 at the internist. Then it was 124 over 70 something. It jumps up and down in health care facilities. Does that all the time. But it's nice to be home.
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