Self imposed isolation

I feel that self imposed isolation can be helpful. It's really not been working out socially. It just seems like my communication has not been up to my environment. I want to contribute positively to the world. Thats why I stay away. Because I want to remember the positive and stop creating negative. I can't hit life's speed bumps at 100 mph. I need to be deliberate. I feel sad that I can't be with people I care about. It makes me even more sad to think I've let them down. They said I was good with words. So I'm sharing only my words as much as possible. I'm trying to sculpt those words to make them even better. I want people to remember the good things because I struggle to know what to do. I need to be humble. I need to offer the best of me. So I'm working on my words. Trying to find the right ones, so that when the moment is right, I can give them. I feel like half of what I've said has led me the wrong paths. I need to look within and find those gold nuggets beyond the labels and the drugs. I want to offer the best of myself all the time. Surely there is more. I cant let my legacy be a poem on a wall in a mental hospital like some demented I was here statement. I can't go to more centers and institutions. I need to find the right words. I want to make sure I am giving my best.