Why go back to brownelle?

Maybe i needed to remember

Maybe i needed to understand

Maybe i needed to forget

Take di hint? Spidey???? Nebber.

Promises to keep

Dear Elle,

I miss you. I trust you. I won't let you down.

Remember,

Ashes

God is watching us.

Reminders to selves

2: Stop expecting people to understand

3: Don't spend time with people who pick fights

Relentless

Relentless in my passion, I will not seek surrender

Resolute in my reasons, I always insist to remember

When the echoes of the past return to call my bitter name

The memories lost and will I had return and shall remain.

My companions, I must shed like the dregs of yesterday

Though they mean me well at times, I must find my way

Forward is the future sought, and they are just the past

Gratitude I hold for them, but some things cannot last.

Volly

 

Volly, they're conspiring aimlessly... Now zee legged one is at it again! Fly me here! Fly me there! Volly, I can't do this alone!

Sleep/Spacey/irritable

I've really not been sleeping much. And my sinuses are nuts. So im taking severe sinus every four hours. I don't know what the world wants from me that I have and can give. It seems like people always want. And never satisfied. They always want more. 

Gender Conformance

    While I don't like to get political, and I'm not gay nor dating anyone I find myself somewhat gender nonconforming. I find I identify with females more than many men. Sometimes that's a good thing, sometimes not. For starters, most men do not keep websites based on things like mental health. I remember the psychology program at clemson. It was at most 20% male. Accounting was more balanced. 

    Sometimes it makes for awkward moments. You think a situation is on a platonic level or the other way around, and suddenly you realize it's not. Or someone misinterprets something non-sexual as being sexual. And then there's problems. Especially when people are obsessed with appearances. And then every interaction becomes a weapon. Which is why I can't talk to certain people anymore. I'm tired. I'm sick of being micro analyzed by people who can't mind their own business. 

Attachments

    Healthcare and attachments can be complicated. Having a father who worked in medicine makes things complicated. I definitely have a way of shutting down or going into a freeze state with healthcare. 

    So, I was reviewing the extent of my crimes. I ran a background check on a nurse and texted her, I hugged a PA (after asking) and her staff started referring to me as her boyfriend (and she was married), and this was after getting into a dispute with my ex-psychiatrist regarding medication. Around the same time, things got heated at the tax office, I was verbally assaulted multiple times, and one of the offices was vandalized, so I bought a Taser. I have a long history of depression and PTSD and sometimes say things that alarm people. So, buying a Taser was considered a no-no. Then that thing at 17. Threatened someone.