Dear Elle

Dear Elle,

    I remember the old days, when I used to keep the anger more hidden. At least it seemed that way. I've been in the system too long. I miss the way we used to talk. It seemed less serious. But maybe the time for humor has passed? Maybe it's time to be serious. I do feel like I am learning more. I don't see this as failure. I see it as the necessary next step. I hope wherever you are, whatever you are doing, you understand. You and Leaves both. I want you to be happy. 

    I miss you. Hopefully I've learned everything I needed to know from you. I need to focus. I feel like I've wasted too much time. I need to focus on being more productive and less angry. I just wanted to make you proud. I wanted you to want to say, yeah, I knew Ashes. He was a great guy. I'm sorry. I hope you're not upset. I have tried. Don't give up on me. 

Yours,

Ashes

Dear coffee

Dear coffee,

    Stocks are down,

    Arachnids are brown,

    I miss seeing Krystal,

    Have you seen her around?

Spidey

Revisiting Trust

     I've struggled with trust. There was a breakdown of trust. But going back to the idea of love as expressed in Christian terms, it is possible to love, it is even possible to love a stranger. There was not much love lost between myself and the other patients at the hospital. They immediately latched onto DID as a sign of arrogance and pushed the drug addict narrative. They never gave me a real chance. Never saw me for who I was. They got stuck on the misconceptions and trying to analyze the DID thing. But it's hard to blame them because I overthought DID and found it confusing myself. 

    But I've been getting my anger back down and reaching out some more. I had a blip with the ritalin and it's not a smooth and steady process. I felt like I wasn't being given choices. When you're the youngest, you get a lot of unsolicited advice and the choices are often made for you. 

    I was stuck in patterns and I knew myself, I knew that if I went back to gateway or got overly involved with medical, I would slip back into patterns. I needed to de-Bipolarize my mind. That did not make me popular, but in truth I was miserable when it was bipolar and the concept I had of bipolar was dysfunctional. It was keeping me trapped in a false identity, stuck in patterns. 

    I think it's time for forgiveness. I just wish I could talk to the staff. Help them understand. The thing with Prichards really wasn't my fault. THC isn't the problem. My counselor isn't the problem. It's the communication. Or lack thereof. But I think that's changing for me. I do know what I need as far as the medication and the ENT/Allergies. I think they are ready to listen. 

Good Morning, Greenville Healthcare

    Dis is your faborite arachnid, Spidey! A warm shout out to the angels ob di Nort wing ob di Castle! Serbin di fiercest since 1969!

    On to di wedder! Today's high is 92, and its going to be sunny. Grab your sunscreen, vampiric bats, gonna be anudder scorcher!

    In udder noose, the Supreme Court just limited the FDA authority over tobacco. Looks like that nicotine gum may be less useful. It's been hailed as a win for vape venders.

    There has been a recall on Rachael's Ginger Beer. It has been containimated with bad cucumbers. The recall was issued June 18th. 

    The FDA allowed a manufacturer in India to continue shipping prescription medications to the US despite quality violations in the manufacturing process, including mold, foul water, faulty testing, and dirty conditions affecting 150 medications stocked in American pharmacies. The violations were discovered in 2022, but were not revealed or corrected, because it would have caused "some kind of frenzy".