Channels

I do feel like a fish. 

There are people who want to influence me. I don't enjoy being obsessed with a mission. A calling. They don't like the one that I chose. But I have to finish what I started. And the result is not up to me. Public Health and the government decide. That's the way it should be. People decide. Not one person or specific close interests. The public. You would not be satisfied with law enforcement, my IT work, psychology. So now you get auditing. Fuller style. And who better? I know your game plans. I know your hospitals and your systems. I remember Springbrook almost as well as mip. I know your drugs and dsms. I have a job to do. I may be your demon... but not everyone's. And in the end, justice is blind. Too many witnesses. Too many eyes. I'm not actually museum piece. But if I have to be a public referendum, then a court must decide. As quietly or as loudly as you make necessary. ✨️ chronic inflammation. Medical complex trauma. Stockholm syndrome. Look it up. Now... names to change, delusions to adjust. People to ignore. I'm federal property. Until a court rules. God complexes to shut down. 

It's just really weird...

how it seems like so many people had me figured or thought they did long before I did. I've been switching a long time now. Since childhood. Usually about 8. It doesn't go away. It integrates. The memory combines through new neural connections. My brain heals. That's all. And I can help. Slow down the hyper medicalization. 

Sometimes I wonder why people tell me some things.

I really do. Or find me interesting. My life is exciting in the wrong ways sometimes. I need to focus. But it has to be more then writing. I just worry about the directions I go in. Some people find me entirely too interesting. Psychiatrists, for example. 

Distracted

    I got distracted again. Thinking about life and law. I just find everything rather distracting. You know, elle said something back in the 90s. She said I was a trip. Reminds me of that lady I tutored. She was a psychiatric nurse. She wanted to open a community center. I think it was cost accounting. I was helping her learn how to run one. So maybe y'all could cut me some slack. You know? If I'm helping your own people. She was from West Virginia. we worked together several times.