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Wednesday, June 4, 2025

Diagnosis

Get a diagnosis, they said. Having a name for the problems helps, they said... $*%#.

Waiting

Hanging in the corner
From a silky thread
by the light of windows
with pen and paper spread

The dragonfly, it hovers,
In the room just down the hall
busy are the bees
from the comb the honey falls

And so, the bear creeps lowly
sniffing at the air
sneaking in so softly
to tackle what is there

He's bigger than the dragonfly
Though hungry, he is strong
He plots to steal some honey
Because right is never wrong

Unfortunately for bear (though spider plays along)
When they come in number, bees can be quite strong
Soon the door comes open, and queen bee has a friend
Blue bee joins the hive, in the room down at the end

To make bear's matters worse
another bee pops out
soon the first door opens
and bees are all about

Spider, do a favor...
Distract the dragonfly.

Drained





    This has been a draining experience. It's gone in the strangest directions. Trying times must come to an end. You know, when this all started, people seemed to find it interesting, almost like a thrill. It's not actually that strange of a concept. People forget that everyone plays different roles, takes different perspectives from time to time. The truth can appear different from person to person. I was reminded of the Trinity. Even God has parts... Father, Son, Holy Spirit. I started some self-exploration, and it got too interesting for everyone. Medication can be truly frightening as well. I wanted people to know the real me. It got out of hand.
    South Carolina is angry enough. Let me go see about Massachusetts... maybe they're bored... I hear Samoa is nice my time of crazy...

Angry

I can see why people are angry. Angry because I've changed. Angry because they were wrong about me. Angry because they worked hard, and it didn't work out. Trauma is like that. It's difficult. But there's no sense in jumping to conclusions. Just because you fear me does not mean that I am worthy of fear. Or anger. I'm still me. Just differently. Getting older makes me realize that my energy is limited. But it seems like my perception is also limited. I used to feel like I knew the world and myself, but I had a small world. I was in a rut. Now I strive to get traction again. I'm doing what's right for me. In time, wounds can heal. Anyways. If Elle or Leaves ever need anything, they better let me know. Not that I have much to give, but sometimes I have to make exceptions for good people. I owe a few debts. I think we could all use some peace. 

Past Reflections