Legalized Drugs

    So going back to the Drug War and medicalized perfectionism... In the 90s, thinking was a bit different. People were like Autism Spectrum? Asper-what? ADHme? Bipolar reorder? SAD? Seasonal Affective Disorder? Schizo this and that? Dissociate? Psychosis? Red pill, blue pill? Adrenaline? 

    Maybe I am weird. I learned from the best. Y'all taught me something. Atlanta. Greenville. Charleston. Anderson. MA. Y'all taught me something, right? Maybe it's time to trust that you taught well. To stop hiding behind your locked doors. Maybe keeping people safe can happen out in the community. Maybe my brother isn't actually God. Nor my father. Just maybe. Maybe being the youngest doesn't automatically make me stupid or a fool. Maybe not quite a criminal mastermind either. Maybe having trouble going out in public doesn't make me an atheist. Maybe having DID doesn't make me a demon worshipper or a drug addict. Maybe we really did get into this together. I'm not sure what it is you all expect of me at this point, but you seem to have invested a good bit. Maybe I can do something with that. I do have to pick something eventually. I'm not that young. 

    I remember that psychiatric nurse that I tutored. She wanted to keep people out in the community. Things got bad during Covid. She wanted to open a community center. It's not a bad dream. So maybe I can help. In my own way. Only, I'm not going to WV. I'm staying here. 

    Still going back to the Patch Adams thing. Still you guys have the WRONG ideas. Still rather annoyed. Stuck up older people ordering others around doesn't impress people. I prefer the gentle touch. The Austen Riggs kind. The Patch Adams kind. The non-hateful, non-us-versus-them kind. 

    That doesn't mean I advocate for illegal drugs, or for the pharmaceutical machine you are so addicted to. That doesn't mean I want to DSMize you like you have me. It means I want it to fucking stop. IT MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE. Legalized insanity at work. I'm more than willing to let doctors hate me if it means that people in the community will not hate me. I'm more than willing to trade the greed and the status for some peace of mind. Being stuck up is not a virtue. Being controlling is NOT a virtue. Humility and forgiveness are virtues. And I'm reviewing my legal options as an independent adult. Regarding woodruff road and Clozana. And MIP. But while I do that as an independent adult, and before you start plotting the next hole to bury me in or the next way to evict me or the next state to ship me to, maybe consider alternatives. Maybe consider that WILLFULLY IGNORING established research because it does not fit into your way of life MAKES NO SENSE. 

    Maybe the NAZI lockstep isn't the greatest idea? Who exactly is the bad influence? The stuck-up pricks in white coats, or the people they control? Just some food for thought. It's not actually impressive when everyone can see through the emperor's clothes, you know. They can damn sure see through mine. Marching me around like some escaped convict because I don't buy the bullshit and I don't follow the program? Not smart, people. Not impressing anyone. 

    I just hope the state of South Carolina demonstrates some common sense towards me so I can do the same. I've tried multiple careers and dozen of prescriptions. I can't please everyone, that's for sure. I'm sticking to 1099s. You guys are nuts. 

    I do not believe in a chemical solution. But I don't believe in pushing the body too hard, either. Or being untrue to oneself. Or controlling others. So before I make this required reading statewide for healthcare professionals or start suing doctors, maybe y'all can back off the hyper-analyze and fix it cycles. We are not Nazis yet. Let's not go there. You can take your DSM and do what a friend once told me about the Bible. Cross reference. Debate. Then shut the fuck up and go home. I get to have emotions too. You helped build them. Congratulations. Fuck off. I am not your machine.