The fact is I write for the joy of creation. Any additional benefit is a side effect... a welcome side effect, but a side effect. I am well aware that I have displeased some people, which is one of the reasons I must focus on my strengths to the exclusion of distractions. I do not have the energy nor desire to engage in failure, and I fear I have wasted too much time already... health, work, writing... that must be my trinity. It's like I explained to the doctors... Its in everyone's best interest that I am home, healthy, and productive. The best person to ensure that is myself, so I must give it my full focus. If I work hard, I might finish my writing. That is my greatest desire.