Projection and Healthcare

    I want to revisit projection. There's so very much to say about projection, and it is so seldom discussed. 

    Projection can look like a look of things. In today's society it happens unconsciously all the time. Every interaction is permeated by projection. For example, when you see another man catch a woman's eye, what does it mean? Is it attraction to her good looks or graceful way? Is it jealousy of the rich things she wears? Is it dangerous, in that he is looking to steal those things? Based on past experiences, people come away with different assumptions about his behavior. She may as well. 

    In the hospital, there was a tremendous amount of projection. Did they ever ask me why I contacted the nurse? No. Did they ever ask me why I said I was thinking of harming my counselor? No. Did they ever ask me what I needed, or were they too busy lining up the next center? Teeing up the next failure? They did ask me at points, but they weren't listening. Gullet and I barely exchanged 5 words. They talk about emotional mind, rational mind, and wise mind. I think the temperature was too high for a wise mind to prevail. Now we're back at paranoid, because I refuse to buy into the bullshit surrounding me. I'm just tired of it. At least they had the intelligence to stop the spravato, the true reason why I was there. It was a bad reaction. 

    I think if you slow down the doctors, if you put speed bumps in their way, they can get frustrated. I know the hospitals push them hard, but I think independence, HIPPA, mandatory vacations and retirements, and other speed bumps exist for a reason: to keep people safe. Because even the safest treatment can do harm. 

    I think I'm going to have to write much, much more about projection and psychedelics in medicine. Boundaries are those safeguards that break up things that are dangerous. When you're dealing with inanimate objects or an enemy, such as in war, boundaries are less important... but when what you are dealing with is a friend or loved one or a customer/client/patient, you can do real harm very easily. Sometimes I wish I had been a soldier and could just bam bam bam without concern for what I was harming. But I am not dealing with an enemy. I'm dealing with people I care about. And that's entirely different. Being a soldier isn't easy, definitely not, it's just a different kind of challenge. Being a man is about more then destruction. Being a man is knowing how to build and preserve. Some do it with words and services, others with guns. But I think we need to recognize that glorifying violence is dangerous, lest that violence be misdirected.

    Me, I've developed a reputation. First crazy, now drug addict. What comes next? That's what worries me. So, maybe I have reason to act a little paranoid. Who knows what they'll think of next? I think I'd best keep my distance either way. 

    The Bible say, Judge not, lest ye be judged... but then... what does the Bible know anyways...