The Journey

     Anyways, I've gotten a little frustrated along the way. But if you can follow sentences then you can follow the history. It all started at MIP... with diagnoses like ADHD, Aspergers, and Bipolar. Then there was McClean, then Lost'n Rigged, then back down here with Prichards, and they added dissociation under the medical cPTSD umbrella with Leaves, then Molly added DID and Bipolar became a point of disagreement, then Prichards quit and I went back to MIP and the outpatient there with Artstick and coffee, then CCBH, Springbrook, then MIP again, and it was one big beautiful chaos. Inbetween, Leaves and Molly talked. Artstick and molly talked. then MIP tried to get rid of molly. Now here I am. I'm back with Molly, Artstick, and Coffee.

    What I think we can all agree on is that there is a very real problem(s). We sometimes disagree on the exact nature of that problem(s) and its solution(s). What I have to focus on is my life outside of hospitals. Because it's not about Elle, or molly, or leaves, or any of these professionals. Nor is it about THC or Spravato, which became a problem of its own.

    What's important to me is that I like people, and I like to write, and I know accounting. I need to focus. I can't afford more distractions or BS. I can't be alone forever. I need to focus on stability with the things I love and working with the people that know how to help. Because I want to take care of someone other than just me. I truly believe that is completely possible. 

    I just can't afford distractions. That's why I'm being careful with who and what I am around. I'm far too old for this chaos. I have no interest or patience for explaining myself to people that do not have the patience or the desire to understand. Not everyone needs to understand me. Some people are more "Hi" and wave types. 

    My life belongs to me. I decide where it goes. I'm continuing to look for work and to take my meds and see my professionals and to work on writing. I do have problems. Sometimes I lose sight of my limits. Sometimes I get a little out of touch with reality. Sometimes I get stuck on events or people or circumstances. Physically I'm in good condition. I need stability and restraint, both internally and from the people around me. And that is what I hope to see.