Serenity

    I dunno, I get the feeling that I'm a little bit short on serenity. I don't know if I strike people as being laid back, but I'm not. I get frustrated. I've felt so driven. I get the urge to rub pennies together as if they might start a chain reaction and multiply. 

    Very strange, the world. Very strange. My life is seriously not as exciting as most people seem to think. Like because my parents had a fancy house I have it made. I do not. Not even close. I have to ask questions too. Questions like, will I be able to pay for food? Will I have a home? Will i have a job? I have to ask questions like that. And thats not actually a new thing. God forbid social security does decide to cut disability, then I'm well and truly fucked. It's really funny unless it's your life. Unless you're the one wondering if you'll have a home. Unless you're the one wondering if you'll be able to eat. Then it stops being funny. It doesn't seem like the people who know me consider for 50 seconds how close I am to oblivion. I'm just one bad day away from a really bad situation. I don't have a safety net. No golden parachute here. No parachute period. Can't even get ads on my writing site.       They scam me for money. The guy thats broke. Makes a whole Lotta damn sense. We've got millionaires in this city but no they take my money when I can barely pay for food. Makes a whole lotta damn sense. 

    But no maybe I just worry too much. I'm sure thats it. I'm sure I have no problems. Carefree. Yep. No problems here. Million dollars under the floor. 3 secret mansions.  The IRS will never catch me. Ha. Ha. Ha. HA.