Addiction and abuse

    If I meet the definition of addiction, then I've been addicted since I was a teenager. Antipsychotics, benzos, off labels, all kinds. Well, not pain pills, or illegals. When I say off label, I refer more to things like Namenda, Aricept, amantadine, Mirapex, gabapentin, minipress. Stuff like that. And I used to go to support groups for mood disorders, but that only helps so much. And it turns out I don't function without these pills. I struggle to see the difference to taking pills for almost anything and addiction.  Some people simply can't function without meds and its sad but true. Most of the people I know take medication for something. 

    I've also seen abuse. If you work at Crisis Line, SafeHarbor, Julie Valentine, OF COURSE YOU KNOW. HELLO!?!? Duh. Three and a half years??? Abuse can take several forms. There's emotional abuse, substance abuse, sexual abuse and physical abuse. Emotional abuse includes things like guilt or shame loading, yelling, threatening, manipulating, lying, and gaslighting. Poor boundaries. 

    What I don't understand about addiction is singling people out like was done at MIP. As if that is helpful. But like I said at MIP, if I consider myself addicted, it's definitely the pills. So many kinds. Extremely rarely have I taken them outside of guidelines, but with three ODs to date, of course I have. That's on record. It's what they call High Risk Medication Use. My concern is the prescription pills. I have to be careful with them. But the doctors have known that for years, and they have removed Spravato. 

    Anyways, the counseling helps me understand these things in ways that support groups, sponsors, and programs do not. Otherwise, I'm sure the hospitals would have figured it out by now.